Johnny the-"G"-Stands-for-"Galactic" Weir
His lifetime mission: To explode old, outdated gender boundaries;
to strut out in celebration of new life and new challenges;
to boldly go where no man has gone before...
So just in case you missed the intergalactic explosion of glitter last night: Johnny's Russian fans have outdone themselves and everyone else pretty much for all time with a gift to him that was announced "on the eve of his birth."
They gave him a planet.
Which, as birthday presents go, has set a new über-stan/dard that I believe even the Koreans may be unable to match. Because wow. Seriously. A planet.
And yes, to answer the question that everybody asked as they SQUEEING AND FLAILING SHAKING AND CRYING tried to grasp the concept: It's official. It's got official written all over it. Literally.
So technically it's a minor planet/asteroid, according to the official NASA Small-Body Database Browser (I am not making this up, but I am wondering if NASA's technology people could use some help in creating a new naming protocol for their databases that does not inspire inappropriate visuals in the back of one's mind about browsing anyone's body in particular, small or otherwise, while one is trying valiantly to hack through a dense overgrowth of technical information ...).
And its official name is 12413 Johnnyweir (1995 SQ29) / Alternate Designation: 1995 SQ29 = 2141 T-1. Which is catchy but you can't really dance to it. And of course is just the official scientific-gobbledy-gook way of saying: Happy Birthday, Johnny! Here, have a planet!
This official celestial body [insert an endless happy stream of comments about Johnny that include the phrases "heavenly body" and "celestial body" here] was officially discovered in the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter on September 26, 1995, by Timur V. Kryachko at the Engelhardt Observatory, Zelenchukskaya Station. See the official list of "Discovery Circumstances: Numbered Minor Planets (10001)-(15000)" (scroll down to number 12413).
"It must be something about this planet's
sparkly atmosphere--he broke out into feathers,
started moulting phallic snakes, then turned
a hideous shade of orange--
but I'm a doctor, dammit, not an aesthetician ... !"
It was actually officially named in Johnny's honor, at the suggestion of his Russian fans, in March of this year, but was kept quiet until now in order to surprise him with this gift whose squee level is literally of astronomical proportions.
Here's the official certificate signed by Nobel laureate Jaures Alferov and by Andrei Finkelstein, director of the Institute of Applied Astronomy Russian Academy of Science, where the certificate was issued.
(click for larger view)
And here is the official awesomely epic video made by the Russian fans to commemorate the gift and wish Johnny a happy birthday:
I love this video. It's well-produced and wonderfully overdramatic up until this part--and I know it's silly but I actually get teary-eyed every time when the music changes and we see:
Because it's just such a beautiful gesture on the part of his Russian fans.
And it's really the perfect gift, as summed up so well in these tweets by alert Facebook fans Karen Weeks and Lauren Ashbaugh:
designsbykaren @JohnnyGWeir is not only a star, he's also a planet! Congrats Johnny :)
blackren101 He is a planet - we all revolve around him ....
Facebook fan Gail Turley also has a great write-up on her blog.
And finally, of course, there is the official macro from the fine folks at ontd_skating:
Now please excuse me while I go e-mail all this to the USFSA, the USOC, and the ISU, with a special asteroid-sized FU attached ...
Yes! Johnny's birthday is TOMORROW!
Facebook fans Wendy Stevens and Li Mann
have graciously compiled all or nearly all of the tweets
from Johnny's Bluefly gig and put them in the Discussions tab
on Johnny's Facebook page!
And you can still watch the video of his closet
on Bluefly.com's "Closet Confessions" if you haven't yet!
Facebook fans Wendy Stevens and Li Mann
have graciously compiled all or nearly all of the tweets
from Johnny's Bluefly gig and put them in the Discussions tab
on Johnny's Facebook page!
And you can still watch the video of his closet
on Bluefly.com's "Closet Confessions" if you haven't yet!
Coming soon: More Twitter madness!
Olympic Tweeters, we need you
as we launch our comprehensive campaign
to tweet Johnny onto DWTS!
Olympic Tweeters, we need you
as we launch our comprehensive campaign
to tweet Johnny onto DWTS!
in USFSA's 2010 Readers' Choice poll
(voting ends July 15)!
Special thanks to Facebook fan Nicole Davis
for "G" is for "Galactic"!
Special thanks to Facebook fan Nicole Davis
for "G" is for "Galactic"!
opyright 2010 / Binky and the Misfit Mimes / Lynn V. Ingogly / all rights reserved
