What movie is this? Why of course it's:
A major motion picture event coming soon to a theater near you!
Trailer:
A long time ago in an ice rink far, far away....
It is a period of serious ennui.
Lackluster competitors, skating from bases around the galaxy, have won victories from the evil Federation Empire.
During the battles, well-dressed sparkly spies teetering in seven-and-a-half-inch Louboutins managed to steal secret plans of the Federation's ultimate weapon, the DEATHLY UNEXCITING STAR, an asexual performer with enough raw snooze factor to destroy the entire sport.
Pursued by the Federation's sinister agents, Princess Tara races home aboard her new pink Riedells, custodian of the stolen plans that can further enhance her really gorgeous hair while restoring elegance and scorching, gender-bending sexuality to the galaxy's ice rinks….
Unfortunately, Princess Tara is soon captured by the Federation's evil agents, who torture her by refusing to allow her visits from Eric, the Royal Beauty Ewok, or even to use a small amount of Poof. (Honestly, it's Eric who puts the "tress" in "Super Agentress." How is she supposed to cope or coif without him?)
But still the resourceful princess manages to smuggle out a message via a small orange brobot. Desperately she hopes it will reach its intended target somehow...
"Help us, Obi-Weir Johnobi.
You're our only hope."
Cast:
Johnny Weir
Obi-Weir Johnobi / Johnny Skyskater / John Solo
(Yes, he gets to be all the heroes.)
Tara Modlin
Princess Tara
Stéphane Lambiel
Lambiel Calrissian
Galina Zmievskaya
Yoda
Uncle Dick Button
Uncle Owen
Nameless USFS Judge
Darth Vader
Patrick Chan
R2D2
Evan Lysacek
Various Droids / The Dapper Wookie Who Says the Sky Is Falling
Soundtrack by Richie Rich and the Villionaires, featuring the hit single "Know Me." Boom. (Seriously, if you haven't downloaded this from iTunes yet, you MUST. DO. IT. NOW.)
Also coming soon: The remake of ThunderSnow and Skatefoot! (Bonus points and a free pair of reading glasses if you are old enough to have any idea what pop culture reference I'm making here ... )
And don't miss the new Showtime series: Skateless! Follow the misadventures of a happily dysfunctional group of skaters during one competitive season. Booze, sex, drugs, fraud ... oh wait, those aren't the skaters ...
(BTW Johnny was right: Shameless is awesome. I added Showtime to our Children of the Corn Cable Company package just for that.)
Many thanks to all the tweeters who participated
in last night's Star Wars-themed
LOL-apalooza NerdFest 2011... :)
And very special thanks
to whoever made the Star Wars pic of Johnny.
("Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a Photoshopper!")
Please consider donating, if you are able,
to help the people of Japan.
Text REDCROSS to 90999 to make a $10 donation
that will appear on your phone bill.
Or support Lady Gaga's donation efforts
by purchasing her special "We Pray for Japan" bracelet
for just $5. You may include an additional amount
with your bracelet purchase if you wish;
all proceeds go directly to Japan relief efforts.
in Bensenville, IL, on April 30!
For every ticket sold, $1 will be donated to
the Japanese Red Cross
Young skaters: Sign up here to audition!
Yes! At last: Pop Star On Ice is now available on DVD!
Order yours today from the Pop Star On Ice website!
of raising $10,000 for breast cancer research
by visiting his donor page! Any amount
you can give will help Skate for Hope
in the fight against cancer.
(Same weekend as the Annually Awesome
Columbus Gay Pride Parade--win-win!)
"Buy my single,'Dirty Love' via iTunes.
Tell all your friends to as well. The more copies sold
takes me one step closer to making a video! №1!"
THE WORLD NEEDS THIS VIDEO
IN THE SAME WAY THAT IT NEEDS AIR.
IN THE SAME WAY THAT IT NEEDS AIR.
You know what to do.
or just click the "Buy" button on the player
at the top of the blog!
Hey, Welcome to My World also is available
as an eBook! More info on Johnny's website!
