Oh, Evan. Really?
Well, at least you're consistent. Which I know is what Frank Carroll really, really wanted from you. Although apparently this is what happens when he lets go of the pull-string between your shoulder blades and walks away, and you're left to speak for yourself. You consistently never fail to disappoint. And you consistently never fail to sink to new lows of douchebaggery.
So just three things:
(1) You do realize that when stupid people tweet really stupid stuff to you, you don't have to tweet back, right? When you come across something like this in your @replies, you can just choose to carefully step over it, like the steaming pile of dogshit that it is, and move on. You know, like someone with an ounce of class would do.
(2) You also realize that Twitter is a public forum, right? You get that, right? So when you tweet something, all
(3) And you do realize that you can't even try to pretend that this was a "joke" or "sarcasm," right? Even if you meant it as the lamest joke ever, there's just nothing funny here. This now puts you at the very bottom of the slore heap underneath those Quebec broadcasters from the Olys. Go check your @replies right now to get a glimpse of how many people you've managed to offend with these four words--including many of your fans. One of which I am not, nor have ever been.
So: Remember in kindergarten, when everybody else learned to "think before you speak" and "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all"? It's a shame you weren't paying attention that day. Because now, no matter what you do, it'll be wrong.
You can ignore all the backlash from your tweet, but you'll look like a dick.
You can delete the tweet and pretend you didn't say it, which will make you look like even more of a dick. And a sneaky, cowardly one at that.
Or, you can apologize to Johnny and everyone else who found this appallingly offensive. And ... you'll still look like a dick.
You could have avoided all of this by simply choosing to STFU.
But there's an upside here. Well, not for you. But for Johnny. Because since you can't be a good example, now you can just serve as a terrible warning. So he can look at your appalling little tweet, crinkle his nose at its foul aroma, and then step gracefully aside and sail right on past it up there on the high road, choosing not to dignify it with even the slightest bit of his attention.
And if somebody has the bad manners to ask him about it, he can simply smile, shake his head slightly, and respond, with grace and class (look 'em up. They're not anywhere near the word "mongoose" in the dictionary, if that helps) and a look of genuine pity on his beautiful face: "Poor Evan. He doesn't even know that the correct phrase is, ' The jury is still out.' "
BTW: The jury deliberating over your tweet is now in. And here's our verdict: We find the defendant guilty of indefensible dapperness. And of being about as poor an example of an Olympic champion as we have ever been embarrassed to have.
Oh, and @TahitianFantasy? WTF?
Sigh. Your idiocy likely renders you beyond my help, but I'll try. Does this answer your question?
Hey! You can enter to win a virtual styling session
with Johnny and a $500 shopping spree
from BlueFly.com!
Just submit a photo of the most
outrageous item in your closet!
Johnny will be choosing the winner in 14 days!
More info here!
with Johnny and a $500 shopping spree
from BlueFly.com!
Just submit a photo of the most
outrageous item in your closet!
Johnny will be choosing the winner in 14 days!
More info here!
Coming soon: The series
of translated interviews from the Mook Book
courtesy of the fabulous Akiko Nakata!
of translated interviews from the Mook Book
courtesy of the fabulous Akiko Nakata!
copyright 2010 / Binky and the Misfit Mimes / Lynn V. Ingogly / all rights reserved
