The Best of Binky's Johnny Weir Blog: still can't find any clocks which is making life interesting

Johnny at Fashion on Ice

in his costume designed by J. Mendel,

which he wore during his performance of Ave Maria.

The detailing on this--and on all the costumes, really--

was astonishing.
Photo © David Ingogly.

He was beautiful and amazing. As always.

Even though he was running on like two hours' sleep.

But our story begins a few days before the awesomeness that was Fashion on Ice, back at the Endless Tuesday From Hell in which, already bleary-eyed from not sleeping Sunday night because my packing crew was coming at 8 a.m. on Monday so it just seemed easier to stay up--which was also the case on Tuesday with the loading crew coming at 8 a.m.--I found myself driving at a brisk pace to our new home in Chicagoland in order to pick up the keys and sign the lease before the management office closed so that I could then turn around and drive another three hours back to where I started so we could pick up our two very dramatically confused cats because I simply couldn't fit both of them in their carriers with their litter boxes in the car on the first trip, laden as we were with suitcases and 4,000 pounds' worth of computers, and then turn around and drive another three hours back again to Chicagoland in order to arrive at our new home a few scant minutes before the unloading crew showed up on Wednesday at, yes, the ungodly hour of 8 a.m. yet again.

So for me, Tuesday was a long and desolate stretch of about eleventy-seventy driving hours fueled by way way way too much Starbucks and dimly wistful memories of sleep which was a thing I experienced briefly during the Bush era which is the only way I can explain how I sailed through those years blissfully unaware of all kinds of things about which I am now loudly passionate. Because I wasn't really awake, apparently.

So all I know is that finally there was a BED and then we scrabbled in the garage through 1,549,762 boxes to find SHEETS and then the sheets were on the bed somehow and then I awoke at some point so stiffened I felt like I was some kid's plaster of Paris project from 1962, and it was Friday and I was like, "HEY. Johnny's going to be here TOMORROW." And by "here" I mean just a tiny 30-minute drive from my new home. Which motivated me to fall out of bed like a board being flung over a cliff and then drag myself to a nearby computer using only my elbows and print out a Google map.

And then it was Saturday.

At some point before The Move That Ate My Brain And Also All My Joints, I had the wherewithal to contact Disson Skating and politely enquire as to how a blogger such as myself might perhaps procure media passes for me and my photographer in exchange for glowing coverage of their event. Much to my surprise, they didn't just guffaw and hang up, and so I ended up with passes and tickets waiting for me at the will-call window at the Sears Centre, courtesy of the fine people at Disson. And the thought of running around in a fedora with a card in my hatband that said "PRESS" is about the only thing that prompted me to not die on Tuesday. (Although as it turns out, it's no longer 1928 and now you get a laminated thing on a lanyard that says "MEDIA" but whatever. I'm still heady with the power.)

In the meantime my lovely friend Nicole Davis happened to be in Chicago this week on business, so she stayed an extra day and bought herself an FOI ticket, and so we all piled into my car Saturday afternoon to cover the dress rehearsal and the warmup and the show, although I had only a vague notion of when the dress rehearsal actually was, that notion being "Saturday afternoon," and so we walked into the Sears Centre just in time to hear the ending strains of "Ave Maria."

Argh.

And so we picked up our Disson packet and headed down to the production office to check in with the Disson people who were extremely, desperately busy, as if they were producing some sort of awesome skating event or something, and so we were kind of milling around looking awkward and out of place, which is a thing I do quite well, and then suddenly my daughter was shyly waving at someone she recognized.

And a gorgeous, athletic vision in fur came running over on his skates to hug my kids.

And then me.

And then it was my Best. Week. Ever.

So we had our usual 20-second conversation, and actually I'm able to mostly form words now when I see Johnny, so he doesn't have to bear the entire 20-second burden by himself anymore, which is good, and then he had to dash off, leaving me completely revitalized and also suddenly needing to sit down so I could savor the 20 seconds that just happened.

Which as it turns out was exactly what the Disson people wanted us to do--please go away and sit down in the arena and do some, you know, MEDIA stuff, like it said on my lanyard--but then we realized we did not have Alice's ticket, which was in a separate will-call envelope and which the Disson people most emphatically wanted her to have to enter the arena.

So we hiked back to the will-call office, a pleasant 30- or 40-mile trip from backstage which inspired me to contemplate Frodo's journey to Mordor all over again ("One Lanyard to Rule Them All!"), and talked to the same guy we had conversed with earlier when we picked up our Disson packet.

Only this time, try as he might, he could not find the other ticket. And he really did try, looking under various misspellings of our name, and under other people's names, and also under misspellings of their names, and ... nope.

But he was a really nice guy, and so he got on his computer and did some mysterious and magical things that we all swore by the Eye of Sauron never to reveal, and then lo and behold, Alice had a ticket.

And so, Mike at the Sears Centre will-call window: You, too, are amazing. Thank you so much for your kindness and resourcefulness, which allowed my family and me to forever leave Tuesday behind, its bleak nuclear wasteland washed away by the fabulosity that was Fashion on Ice. :)

So here are the first few random pics made available by my photographer, who is really really asleep right now, in the comatose way of teenage boys who eat 2,000 calories every hour just to keep up with their inch-a-day height adjustment, so it might be a few days before I can rouse him enough to edit a few more...

Saturday, 09/24/2011.
Post-dress rehearsal.
4 p.m.-ish.

We made it into the arena from will-call, all tickets in hand,
just in time to thoroughly enjoy listening
to the incredible Aretha Franklin--
clad in fur and sweat pants--rehearse several numbers
with her equally incredible backup singers.
They nailed each song on one run-through,
and then Aretha was ready to go.
When one of the crew gently asked if she wanted
to go over anything else,
Diva Aretha said, "I just came, really, for the lighting
and the sound. I'm good. Let's go."
Sooooo ... she's ready to leave,
but now they're taking a few minutes
to review her wardrobe for the evening.
She seems ... ready to leave.
Like she said.

Skater warmup.
5 p.m.-ish.

Johnny.

We had good seats, down near the stage,

(although with Davey's new paparazzi lens,

he could have stayed at will-call and gotten amazing shots).

The warmup was fun to watch, but we were far enough away

that I couldn't really see Johnny's expressions well.

After Davey sent me this first batch of photos,

I was struck by how enormously exhausted

Johnny looks in many of these.

And yet, when it was showtime,

his performances were fully, electrifyingly energized--

and the crowd loooooooooved him.

About five minutes in, he took off the Russia jacket

and left it with Tara, who was watching from the front row.

And after about 15 minutes, Diva Johnny said,

"OK. I'm ready. Let's go." LOL.

With Ryan Bradley.

IDEK.

The whole thing just cries out for captioning,

but I'm too brain-dead at the moment....

...aaaaand now I feel guilty for even thinking I'm tired...

Almost done...

Two very lovely ladies: Vicky Klinko

and Super Managtress Tara, with Johnny's jacket.

"Hey, Tara, stop smiling and having fun
where I can see you.

I'm finding that really, really irritating..."

Showtime.
8 p.m.-ish.

Bad Romance in his Betsey Johnson costume.

One of his best performances of this program.

Huge crowd-pleaser! Lots more to come...

And Ave Maria in his J. Mendel outfit.

Breathtakingly, poignantly beautiful,

as this program always is.

Bonus Ave Maria pic! Love this.

Skater Warmup: Ice Follies. Or Fallies.

He wiped out several times during the warmup,

which I know he's probably done about a billion times in his career,

but I've hardly ever seen him fall while watching him skate live,

so it was startling. After one fall, I was really afraid

he was hurt, but of course he got up and kept going.

Then there was this fall.

He completely crashed, then just laid there

for a few very long seconds,

and you could feel the collective, "Oh no...."

from all the warmup audience. Then he smiled....

...but his smile faded as he sat up, and then he just stopped.

Then he looked over at Tara...

...and then he started to grin....

....aaaaaaaand apparently he's fine.

And now it's back to business.

Bonus video!! From dear Nico,

she of the amazing Sun Valley 2010 vids.

Here is Johnny's Ave Maria....

...and here's the closing number:

"Respect," with the fabulous Aretha!

Big news in Eric Alt Land!!

Eric is teaming up with The Imperial Court of New York

(and if you don't know who they are, go there now!

ICNY president Gary Cosgrove is made of awesome)

to host his own runway show

for New Jersey Fashion Week--starring Johnny!

Click the poster to read all about it,

then get your tickets here!

VIP tickets also available!!

Please vote for Johnny!!
He's up for two honors at the moment:
Vote for him as "Ab Fab" in Logo's poll,
and vote for him as "Best Dressed" in Out Magazine!