I Know You Believe You Understand What You Think I Said, But I Am Not Sure You Realize That What You Heard Is Not What I Meant. So Here, Have Some Pics of Johnny.

So for the last two days I've been having an email conversation with some long-distance colleagues that went something like this:

Colleague 1: Yay! TPS report is done!

Me (frowning): Wait. WTF? Why is there a weird line at the bottom of the TPS report covers? Did we talk about this on Thursday?

Colleague 1: What? Why are you unhappy with our Thursday meetings?

Me (squinting): I swear this wasn't here before. Why is this here?

Colleague 2: Hey, so do you want me to add another line to the TPS report covers?

Colleague 1: We should have gone over this earlier, I guess. Thursday meetings work better because we're all used to having them on Thursdays. We've always had them on Thursdays.

Me (with conviction): It really really bothers me that this line is here. Let me ask Colleague 3 about it.

Colleague 3: I had no idea we were putting lines on the report covers. If we're going to have lines, we should do them differently. But only on Thursdays.

Me (mystified): Why are we talking about Thursdays? I'm fine with Thursdays. Really, look at this line. It's driving me crazy.

Colleague 1: Hey everybody! Colleague 2 is updating the TPS report covers with extra lines! But there's no way we can cancel our Thursday meetings.

Me: Wait what .... ?

And so on.

Sometimes it takes me forever to realize that the person with whom I am having an intense debate is actually debating an entirely different issue with me than the one I thought we were debating. This discovery often alters the whole conversation significantly, usually by introducing uncontrollable giggling. My determined partner in this type of Complete Communications Breakdown is most often my family. But no matter who it is, as we all grow more frustrated and things seem to get even more muddled, eventually all of a sudden light dawns on someone (not always me), and then the pieces start to fall into place, and there's a lot of, "Ohhhhhhhhhhh so you thought that I meant ... ," and then we're all back on the same page--with or without lines.

And thus what we have here is a failure to communicate, of which
I--whose life's work it is to write clearly and effectively, with a foundation of proper spelling and and grammar and punctuation, and then layered upon that, carefully nuanced meaning--am at least partially the author.

So at that point the only thing left to do in trying to salvage what's left of yet another Thursday is to convulse with laughter at the Irony and the Idiocy (still thinking about Puritan names for children), and then check the Internet for photos of Johnny from the Out 100 party.

Oh yay!

We begin with dear Eric Alt, who can always be depended upon to feed starving kittens with our tidbit of choice, that being the twitpic, of course:

Eric's caption: "Here you go girls. 3 fierce bitches for you. I love me some @JohnnyGWeir and @tmodlin." Oooo yes. And we love us some @EricAltSalons too. (P.S. For a man who spent a good part of the day stuck in traffic trying desperately to reach his clients, Eric still managed to turn Tara's hair into perfection.)

And then, thanks to the Out 100 live blog, we have Johnny on the red carpet:

I love the "infinity" effect, where we're looking at a picture of Tara and Johnny on the red carpet, and in the picture we see the viewfinder of the camera, which is displaying a shot of Tara and Johnny on the red carpet, and in that viewfinder we also see the viewfinder of the camera, which is displaying a shot of Tara and Johnny etc. etc. ... Yes. It's Johnny to infinity!

And more red carpet with this absolutely fabulous shot:

(This one also needs to be to infinity.)

But there's one thing missing that we MUST see, and that's--THE SHOES! Ah, here we go:

He tweeted about his outfit earlier in the day: "Thom Browne cropped suit and red velvet @louboutinworld. I'm ready for OUT." I dunno what giant brooch-like contraption the size of my great-aunt who was quite a tall woman for her era he's wearing on this suit, but it's riveting. And love love these shoes!

I also loved reading the Out 100 live blog, where I learned a new word, "faboosh" (well, it's new to me here amongst the cornfields--it's probably on its way out already in NYC) that I must now use daily, and where I also read this: "Johnny Weir and ELLE Creative Director Joe Zee working the press line together. ... And [Joe] left Johnny behind, because, no joke, [Johnny] hasn’t left the same spot on the carpet for a good 20 minutes. It’s hard being popular."

And I think that's about to only get worse--by which I mean better, of course, in that lots more people are going to discover Johnny soon, like next week, and his popularity is going to go through the roof.

And we're just going to enjoy the ride, which starts this Sunday night with Johnny presenting at the AMAs live on ABC beginning at 8 pm EST / 7 pm CST. ABC also is offering a three-hour livestream of the red carpet here before the event, starting at 5 pm EST.

And then, of course--at last!--SWTS premieres this coming Monday at 9 pm EST / 8 pm CST immediately following the finale of DWTS, with a two-hour first episode that promises to be ... well, it's more Johnny on LIVE TV, so we can only imagine the utter fabooshness ...

And in the coming weeks, as he takes America by storm--a really really sparkly storm--I also imagine we'll read more tweets like this from anyone who's lucky enough to get to spend even a few minutes with Johnny:

Watching everybody else fall in love with Johnny is going to be so much fun for all of us who are already there. #HeIsMagical. #It'sInevitable.

And that, at least, is very very clear. On any day of the week. :)

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OMG! Skating With the Stars premieres
THIS COMING MONDAY! Get those DVRs ready
and tune in to ABC on Monday, November 22,
at 9 pm EST / 8 pm CST! Don't miss it!

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But wait! Don't forget that the day before SWTS,

Johnny is presenting at the AMAs!

Catch the show live on ABC this Sunday, November 21,

beginning at 8 pm EST / 7 pm CST.

Red carpet livestream is available here

beginning at 5 pm EST / 4 pm CST!

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Yes! There are still VIP meet-n-greet tickets available
for Holiday Dreams on Ice,
the spectacular December 11 show starring Johnny
and hosted by Perani Ice Arena in Flint, Michigan!
The meet-n-greet is limited to just 50 guests,
so reserve your VIP tickets today with this form! 

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Please remember to check out
Johnny's new official website!
It debuted on Wednesday to many rave reviews
on Twitter and Facebook,
so be sure to take a look around!
Love the intro page with the Swan photo
and handwritten note from Johnny. :)

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Designer T. Rains and Johnny have teamed up to raise money and awareness for The Trevor Project! This organization is "determined to end suicide among LGBTQ youth by providing life-saving and life-affirming resources." Proceeds from the "Army of One" t-shirt sales will go to The Trevor Project foundation. Order yours today! Your support is greatly appreciated!
For more information, please visit www.thetrevorproject.org.

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Yes! You can own a fine art print of Johnnyperfect for any/every room in the house! Prints of artist Peter Jurik's "Showtime!" are available for purchase from his website.More info here!

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Here it comes: Johnny's quarter-century memoir,Welcome to My World, will be availableJanuary 11, 2011--that's just two months away!You can preorder it now on Amazon!

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Please remember to register to receivethe JW Art Project's email newsletter!
They have great tidbits to offer,
and you get a special sneak peek at an exclusive photo
from the Artbook when you sign up!

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Special holiday offer!
In exchange for a donation to Toys for Tots,
Trish Aaron-Misiura will send you one handmade,
Johnny-inspired Christmas ornament! More info here!

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Please vote for Johnny as "Must-Follow Personality"in the Fourth Annual Mashable Awards!To vote, enter "@JohnnyGWeir" in the box after "I nominate,"and then choose "Must-Follow Personality"from the pull-down menu.You can vote once a day until Monday, November 29!The top five in each category will advanceto the finalists' round, which begins December 1.

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copyright 2010 / Binky and the Misfit Mimes / Lynn V. Ingogly / all rights reserved