Showing posts with label aaaaaand just when I think she can't possibly be any more tacky she thrills me with new crassness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label aaaaaand just when I think she can't possibly be any more tacky she thrills me with new crassness. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

SWTS Haiku II: This Time It's Personal

Yes! He’s skating tonight!
And we think the show might be sold out!
There was a tweet that said so! But we’re not really sure!
So we tried to get four tickets and couldn’t!
But we could get one! So maybe there’s only one left!
In any case, it’s kinda too late to throw the kids in the car
and drive 1,200 miles to San Antonio by tonight
although don’t think for a minute that that didn’t cross my mind,
but it’s OK because this show will be broadcast nationally
on Fox next Sunday, December 19, at 4:30 EST!
(or whenever the NFL game preceding it ends ...)



SWTS Haiku II: This Time It’s Personal
(I was so torn over whether to go with this
or SWTS Haiku II: Electric Boogaloo ...)


Imma leave this here

Vile stench; the blue sparrow falls

[We interrupt this haiku to bring you an important message from our sponsor:

OK, three things:

(1) Bethenny: YOU made it personal when he critiqued your SKATING and you snarked about his perceived SEXUALITY.

“Bethenny joked, ‘I am the woman Johnny Weir wants to be and he clearly has an issue with that.’”

That’s personal.

Oh, and when you said, “F*ck Johnny Weir” on national television.

Your fans have also been working industriously to make it really personal, and you’ve done nothing to discourage them. Instead you tweet-cooed, “Your comments are so sweet.”

(2) If you corner someone where you think the cameras can’t see you (though I hope to Sweet Weirsus that Butch and Grams were filming this from every angle like Fellini on crack) just to snarl at him, “I’m not taking this personally!” you’ve pretty much proven that you are.

(3) So here are some tips to help you respond with professionalism to a professional critique from a professional in a sport or discipline where he or she is an expert and you’re ... not:

Do say: “Thank you. I really appreciate your insights.”

Don’t say: “F*ck you.” Or, “I’ll get through you with a blade up your ass.” Or, “I will slap [that judge] upside her head.” Or, “I don’t care what [they] think.”

We now rejoin our haiku already in progress.]

  
Johnny saves the day


 Ahhhhhhhhhh. All better.


Now we can really enjoy these bonus SWTS .gifs from Jenn Kittler (thank you, Jenn!):
Uncle Dick is the TSA X-ray machine of skating.
I love that they’re all having such a good time!

Johnny e-l-o-n-g-a-t-e-s .... with Laurie Ann’s help.


And also savor this article. Including this part: Weir said: “I didn’t know any of these celebrities except for Jonny. [oh SNAP! Bethenny, you’re not even on his radar.] I didn’t care if they were famous or not. I just try to judge everyone fairly.”

And especially this part: “Bethenny Frankel--likely the person going home next week--scored a 26.” Holy Mother of Gaga, hear our LOL.

And now that we’re all in a much better mood, one final note: The kids and I are throwing ourselves in the car to try to make it to Flint this weekend! (barring sudden blizzards). Where apparently, if we don’t skid off the road on a patch of notorious Midwestern black ice and I don’t have a stroke over whatever Bethenny tweets next, we shall see Johnny skate two programs AND sing “Dirty Love”!

Giddy blogs to immediately follow the show. :D :D :D :D


The next episode of Skating With the Stars
airs next Monday, December 13,
at 8 pm EST / 7 pm CST!
Don’t miss it!


Yes! There are still VIP meet-n-greet tickets available
for Holiday Dreams on Ice,
the spectacular December 11 show starring Johnny
and hosted by Perani Ice Arena in Flint, Michigan!
The meet-n-greet is limited to just 50 guests,
so reserve VIP tickets today with this form!

Please remember to check out
Johnny’s new official website!
It debuted recently to many rave reviews
on Twitter and Facebook,
so be sure to take a look around!
Love the intro page with the Swan photo
and handwritten note from Johnny. :)


Designer T. Rains and Johnny have teamed up to raise money and awareness for The Trevor Project! This organization is “determined to end suicide among LGBTQ youth by providing life-saving and life-affirming resources.” Proceeds from the “Army of One” t-shirt sales will go to The Trevor Project foundation. Order yours today! Your support is greatly appreciated!
For more information, please visit www.thetrevorproject.org.



Yes! You can own a fine art print of Johnny
perfect for any/every room in the house!
Prints of artist Peter Jurik’sShowtime!”
are available for purchase from his website.
More info here!

Here it comes: Johnny’s quarter-century memoir,
Welcome to My World, will be available
January 11, 2011—that’s just one month away!
You can preorder it now on Amazon!

Please remember to register to receive
the JW Art Project’s email newsletter!
They have great tidbits to offer,
and you get a special sneak peek at an exclusive photo
from the Artbook when you sign up!

copyright 2010 / Binky and the Misfit Mimes / Lynn V. Ingogly / all rights reserved