Welcome to My Bus.
Photo courtesy of Beloved Beauty Bear
Eric Altomare.
Wow.
What a week that was!
And he's still going, wending his way through Ohio and Michigan today on the Magical Mystery Tour Bus of Sparkly Myth and Legend, then Chicago and Wisconsin tomorrow, then flying off to LA on Wednesday ...
So to recap: After we arrived at WeirDay, there was such a total tsunami of media that I decided to just step back and let it wash over me rather than add my tiny voice to the incredible crashing din, as wave after wave after wave of interviews and articles and videos of Johnnyness kept rolling in. Which was completely fabulous. So I set out like a small man in a boat to explore it all while I waited for my copy of the book to come.
And waited.
And waited.
And waited.
And waited.
#AmazonShippingFail #FMLSoHard
And thus I ended up washing back ashore and pretty much spending the week with my nose pressed forlornly against the glass of the Welcome to My World lovefest, my larger bottom lip quivering ever so slightly, watching everybody else on Twitter and Facebook and just EVERYWHERE laugh and cry and love and sigh their way through 266 pages of Weirisms.
Without me.
This was not quite the WeirWeek I had envisioned for myself.
But oh well--there was still a ton of media to splash around in. Like the Howard Stern interview, for instance.
So also last week, I learned some things:
(1) There is a line I will not cross, not even for Johnny. And that is the rope of tattered g-strings and used condoms that surrounds the Howard Stern Show. I absolutely cannot bring myself to go there. I read summaries of the interview on Stern's website and a couple of other places, and that was as far as I got. But it's OK, because many many many kind fans were super-eager to share every single nuanced inch of the interview with me, so it was almost like I got to listen to it after all. And it was about 7.5 times more detail than I would ever need to know about anybody, including myself, but the general consensus was that Johnny was wonderful and charming and frank and witty (well, of course), and Howard liked him, and it was a great success and brought in a lot of new fans (in fact, Johnny gained ONE THOUSAND Facebook fans in ONE WEEK!). So that was good. In fact, I don't think anybody's been that good yet.
(2) There was something else too but I forget what because OMG MY BOOK FINALLY CAME ON SATURDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And just in time to save me from having to finally put away the Xmas stuff. So of course I dropped everything--literally, meaning the Xmas boxes I had just schlepped up from the basement--to bend over and take it from where the mailman had left it on our porch, and then I was off to READ READ READ READ READ ....
Aaaaaaand Johnny writes like he talks, so it was like having an extended and riveting conversation with someone I absolutely adore. In which I didn't say anything stupid because I was just listening raptly.
It was nirvana.
I sipped a Starbucks while I absorbed all his words, nodding and smiling encouragingly at times, as if he were seated across from me, laughing out loud at some parts, and also getting really livid at other parts, all of which seemed to contain the word "federation."
And tearing up quite a bit at the very last paragraph.
Ah, Johnny.
I love it. Every word.
And while there's still much to mull and process and ponder and rage at, as I re-read various sections, the overwhelming feeling I came away with was this:
He is exactly who I thought he was.
Yes, there are surprises in the book, for me, anyway, lots of background and details I didn't know, but my initial thunderstruck impression of the Johnny who shattered my world into glittery ice shards and filled it with so much beauty and wisdom and wicked humor and all the sparkle that I had been missing, and all the reasons to fight for complete equality for everyone in this country, in one fiercely dazzling package--that's the same Johnny in the book.
The unsparing, piercing self-awareness; the young cockiness; the hard-won maturity; the humble, wide-eyed appreciation of accolades; the shy vulnerability; the fear that he's not as good as he thinks he is; the thrill that in fact he is; the deeply spiritual understanding that every moment--whether of failure or triumph--is preparation for whatever is next; the cold, bitter wariness toward outsiders; the warm, mother-hen love toward those who have earned his trust; his enormous appreciation for his fans, his friends, and above all, his family--it's all there.
He is an outstanding, courageous, and loving role model for every kid--and every adult--who wants to skate outside whatever lines there are in their lives.
And anyone who can't see that--whether it's presented in five-inch Louboutins and fur, a sparkly onesie, or black jeggings and a T-shirt--is blind in heart and soul, and has my pity.
So: I'm hoping to get to the book signing in Chicago tomorrow--barring sudden Midwestern blizzards--accompanied by my wonderful son David and his camera, where we're going to try to capture tons of photos and where I will undoubtedly say something stupid. If I'm able to speak at all.
Because you know how I am in real life every time I actually get to see Johnny in person:
Just a cluster of nerves.
"There comes a point
where even an American Fashion Icon
must throw on a Burka and Sweat Pants ..."
Photo and caption courtesy of
Beloved Beauty Bear Eric Altomare.
"Buy my single,'Dirty Love' via iTunes.
Tell all your friends to as well. The more copies sold
takes me one step closer to making a video! №1!"
THE WORLD NEEDS THIS VIDEO
IN THE SAME WAY THAT IT NEEDS AIR.
IN THE SAME WAY THAT IT NEEDS AIR.
You know what to do.
or just click the "Buy" button on the player
at the top of the blog!
Hey, Welcome to My World also is available
as an eBook! More info on Johnny's website!
Please vote for Johnny on Twitter
in the #sports category of the "Shorty Awards"!
Just tweet your vote at this link!
in the #sports category of the "Shorty Awards"!
Just tweet your vote at this link!
Designer T. Rains and Johnny have teamed up to raise money and awareness for The Trevor Project! This organization is "determined to end suicide among LGBTQ youth by providing life-saving and life-affirming resources." Proceeds from the "Army of One" t-shirt sales will go to The Trevor Project foundation. Order yours today! Your support is greatly appreciated!For more information, please visit www.thetrevorproject.org.
They have great tidbits to offer,
and you get a special sneak peek at an exclusive photo
from the Artbook when you sign up!
