The Best of Binky's Johnny Weir Blog: #realityWEIR

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

New Week! New Numbers! Because Math NEVER Tastes Like It Totally Has Paper Close to It...

#realityWEIR and #hotBETTYWHITE

I love them. Especially together.

OK, people! THIS IS THE FINAL WEEK OF VOTING for Johnny to win "Most Addictive Reality Star" in the NewNowNext Awards!

Let's review the latest updated figures as of whatever time it is which I'm fairly convinced it's Tuesday o'clock although I'm not actually sure because I spent Memorial Day weekend first driving hundreds of caffeine-fueled miles and then returning home to write and rewrite all kinds of stuff for a bunch of different projects like some kind of highly trained monkey on crack with access to a keyboard but no grasp of the concept that lying down for two hours and then consuming five ventis from Starbucks does not equal sleep, and while I'm sure everyone else had much more interesting things to do than squint at columns of numbers in between spending truly ludicrous amounts of time pondering the connotative differences between "crazy" and "insane"--apparently I didn't. But hey, somebody's got to be the HGBIC (Head Geek-Bitch in Charge) and I hate to always bother Bill Gates with it because he's busy, you know, saving lives in Africa and stuff.

So, with Friday's vote deadline looming, here are a bunch of random statistasitscatistics so we can see where we stand, which, as far as I can tell without drawing any actual conclusions for which I would have to be burned at the stake, seems pretty damn high up on a mountain of Twitter votes!:

*From Monday, May 24, through Monday, May 31, we logged 26,291 tweet votes total!

*Wednesday, May 26, we broke 5,000 votes in a single day for the first time!

*Voting fell off significantly on Saturday, May 29, to about 1,600 votes for the day. Part of the problem was that several of our top tweeters went overlimit on their Twitter accounts and got locked out of voting for hours at a time.

*On Monday, May 31, we broke 5,000 for the second time with 5,546 votes recorded!

*Our current daily average is now above 3,200--an increase of more than 200% since we first began tracking!

*7/5 of fans say they don't evan understand fractions but they're willing to give 150%, or thirty-twentieths, to voting.

*100% of our votes are cast by real people with no real lives to speak of, just like me, so I completely understand. How can we possibly have time for real lives when Johnny doesn't feel good one day and we have to drop everything to shower him with get-well tweets #realityWEIR #hotBETTYWHITE and cyber chicken soup, and daydream that we can personally nurse him back to health and make him strong like yak, and then two days later he shares an adorable twitpic of his baby Vanya and enthuses about the delectable purpleness of Kaboom so that suddenly 80,000+ bathrooms in America are sparkly clean? Plus there's this: A whole new treasure trove of Johnny video that is simply not to be missed. Goodness. We're lucky that our autonomic nervous systems remember we need to swallow every half hour or so.

And so what does it all mean? Let's check out the exciting and dynamic HGBIC graphic o' the day!

It means WE COULD BREAK 100,000 by FRIDAY!!!

And also that we better hope to God that those nice people over at LogoTV are using an equally accurate real-time tracking tool and did not decide to outsource the vote tallying to BP this year ("Yo. Where did all the votes go?" "I dunno. I think they're spewing out through this hole in the ethernet cable. We sorta keep trying to fix it, but no matter what we do, we just can't seem to care." "Well, as long as we're making money. Oh, and be sure to tell LogoTV that this project is going to cost them twice as much now because we don't know WTF we're doing." "Will do!").

BTW: Our dear Betty White got 7,244 Twitter votes last week, all from Johnny Weir fans. :) You can track her stats here. Her closest competitor received: Two votes.

BTW Part 2: Here are our Top Ten Tweeters for last week:

1. @blackren101 - 1,973
2. @JGW_fangirl - 1,698
3. @realityWeir - 1,551
4. @maxonat - 1,477
5. @KittenGlitterHD - 1,342
6. @Cheddar_Cat - 1,280
7. @AddictedtoJWe - 1,253
8. @MaggieStNJ - 1,198
9. @Moo58 - 1,104
10. @TheJerseySlore - 1,082

Plus I know a significant number of fans are voting directly on the NewNowNext website, which is fanTAStic, and which I have done repeatedly myself in addition to tweet-voting. I find both activities pleasantly mindless, like baking, only without the third-degree burns that invariably result from baking while watching clips of Johnny trying to speak Japanese (fast-forward to about marker 14:20 ...)

So, Kittens: Our mission this week is clear: Please keep rocking the vote to 100,000-plus!

PLEASE KEEP VOTING FOR JOHNNY
as "Most Addictive Reality Star"
in the NewNowNext Awards! Vote here
(he's the last one listed in the fifth category--scroll down!)
or on Twitter by constantly tweeting
and retweeting #realityWEIR.

Voting ends June 4, which still gives us time

to get Johnny oh, say, 100,000 votes!
PLEASE also VOTE HERE for Johnny to win
the 2010 Readers' Choice Skater of the Year Award
(voting ends July 15)!

Monday, May 24, 2010

NewNowNext Awards Update: Johnny's Kittens Are Rocking the Vote!!

"Hey! You've been tweeting #realityWEIR

over and over for me? Thanks!

I'll be right over with these roses!"

Oh, just look at him. And not just there. Look here. And here. And especially here. Now how could we not vote repeatedly for Johnny to win the NewNowNext "Most Addictive Reality Star" award? Obviously the answer is: We couldn't. It's physically impossible to stop ourselves from doing just that. And now we've got the stats to prove it!

We're heading into the home stretch for voting, which ends
June 4--just thirteen more voting days left (also shopping days, except who has time to shop when we can't stop tweeting long enough to even feed the dog, let alone go out and buy stuff. Although actually you can shop at Ban.do 24/7, so it is, in fact, possible to shop and tweet for Johnny simultaneously, but not buy dog food--although maybe a nice little ban.do for the dog, who really is looking quite svelte these days ... )

So ever since this NewNowNext thing began, I have been scouring the Interwebz for a useful tool that actually works to track our voting. (Yes, you can do a search on Twitter for #realityWEIR, but that only shows you the most recent tweets and doesn't offer any kind of history. Plus it craps out after about three refreshes and then mumbles weird technogeek stuff about how running scripts on this page may cause your computer to barf, screw up a triple toe loop, and then implode. So it's not a big help.) And those nice NewNowNext people sweetly refuse to offer a running total of any kind since they insist that the results must be a surprise when the winners are announced on June 17. They don't realize, of course, that HELLO, we are JOHNNY WEIR fans--with all the intense single-minded devotion that that implies...

In the meantime, we Kittens (as Johnny calls us, which just makes us SQUEE! and then purr like crazy, a word that crops up frequently when describing JWe fans--but it's a good crazy, not the quiet-neighbor-who-always-kept-to-himself kind of crazy, because for starters "quiet" we definitely are not) are all milling around with ever-growing anxiety as we wait for him to announce whether or not he's competing next season. And, as alert fan Jessica Lane points out, when Johnny's overly artistic, creative, passionate, and rabid fanbase is trapped in a small room with no glitter to snort and nothing to do but chew on our very sharp claws and hiss at each other, things can get messy. So fortunately many of us have made it our mission to control our anxiety by ~~eating~~ voting nonstop. And we're doing a helluva job.

I finally found a site called "What the hashtag" that actually works pretty well to track Twitter votes, although I can't get more than a seven-day history at a time. So I've had to do some extrapolating from there, which isn't nearly as stimulating as it might sound. Although maybe if Johnny did it ... in which case it would probably be called "sex-trapolating" and would look something like this:

Anyway, Johnny is up against four competitors for this award: Khloe Kardashian from Keeping Up With the Kardashians; Snooki from Jersey Shore; Andrew Mukamal from Kell on Earth; and JuJuBee from RuPaul's Drag Race.

So check us out, Kittens! (Yeah, OK, it's a nerdy-ass table and practically requires a pocket protector to view it, but LOOK AT THE VOTES!!):

Yes! We are ROCKING the vote on Twitter for Johnny! And that's especially thanks to these Top Ten Tweeters and the vote totals that they have contributed so far (and these totals are just for the last seven days):

1. @maxonat - 1,599
  2. @Cheddar_Cat - 1,196
3. @realityWeir - 1,110
4. @KittenGlitterHD - 1,040
5. @TheJerseySlore - 1,034
6. @MaggieStNJ - 1,024
7. @Moo58 - 830
8. @blackren101 - 658
9. @princessjhnylv - 631
10. @mommaowie - 419

You can track our progress and that of Johnny's competitors through these links:

Khloe          http://wthashtag.com/Realitykhloe
Snooki     http://wthashtag.com/Realitysnooki
Andrew   http://wthashtag.com/Realityandrew
JuJuBee   http://wthashtag.com/Realityjujubee
Johnny    http://wthashtag.com/Realityweir

So we are doing an AMAZING job--but this is no time to slack off! In the thirteen days we have left, let's see if we can raise our daily average to more than 2,000! Because here's the caveat: We do NOT have a way to track the votes cast on the NewNowNext website. So we've got to vote as often as possible, especially on Twitter, to make sure that Johnny is in first place.

As @natomax tweeted: If Johnny loses to Snooki, a kitten will die.

Although I think JuJuBee is the real threat here, and I don't know what terrible thing will happen if she wins--although I'm sure whatever death-dealing nightmare ensues, it will certainly be flamboyant, glamorous, and over-the-top. And have big hair.

But let's not go there. Let's just keep tweeting #realityWEIR around the clock FTW! Because this whole addiction is Johnny's freaking fault anyway, since he had me at, "I walk on water. Well, frozen water."

And if there's one word that describes Johnny Weir--whether he's skating, singing, walking, extrapolating, stepping into the shower, or just breathing--it's most definitely "addictive."

PLEASE KEEP KEEP VOTING FOR JOHNNY
as "Most Addictive Reality Star"
in the NewNowNext Awards! Vote here
(he's the last one listed in the fifth category--scroll down!)
or on Twitter by constantly tweeting
and retweeting #realityWEIR.

Voting ends June 4, which gives us plenty of time

to get Johnny oh, say, 100,000 votes!
PLEASE also VOTE HERE for Johnny to win
the 2010 Readers' Choice Skater of the Year Award
(voting ends July 15)!

photo (c) Amie Photography.com
Thanks to ontd_skating for the .gif!