Congratulations, Johnny: USFSA's Figure Skater of the Year!

Johnny Weir,

USFSA Readers' Choice Figure Skater of the Year,

at the end of his Fallen Angel
free skate program

in the 2010 Olympics.

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I love irony.

I love that the God of my heart loves irony too.

I love that despite the USFSA's desperately determined efforts to ignore, bury, and distance themselves from Johnny Weir--their own three-time National Champion and two-time Olympian; despite the fact that his picture does not even appear with those of other skaters at the top of the USFSA website (yes, I realize that those are all 2010 medalists but he's more popular than all of them combined and his photo there would draw more visitors to explore the site--it's called "marketing savvy," USFSA); despite the fact that they pushed his name down to the third spot on the pulldown menu for "Figure Skater of the Year" (yes, I also realize the names were in order of the skaters' places at Nationals, but it makes me happy to be continuously annoyed with the USFSA so please don't interrupt me with additional facts when my rant is gathering steam); despite the fact that they completely left him out of the voting for "Greatest Skater Ever" even though he has singlehandedly drawn thousands of new fans to figure skating at a time when the sport's popularity has been declining; especially despite the cruelly myopic and truly indefensible judging of his soaring Olympic performances and the complete absence of USFSA support at his post-Olympic press conference; despite it all--

He won USFSA Readers' Choice Figure Skater of the Year! (again!)

YES!!!!!

[insert standing ovation here accompanied by creative hand gestures enthusiastically directed at the USFSA. Although even if they squint, their eyesight is obviously too poor to be able to discern what we're doing. Plus their stone faces make squinting difficult.]

I guess this is one competition even the USFSA couldn't f*ck up find a way to skew in someone else's favor.

Because this one wasn't up to them.

This one was decided by the people, who don't need a "Code of Points" or "GOE" or other incomprehensible numbers to be able to instinctively identify unequalled beauty, artistry, athleticism, and grace on the ice; who know bias, backroom deals, and appalling unfairness when they see it; who found themselves completely transported by Johnny's Olympic performances; who fell in love with him while following his struggles and triumphs as he allowed BGJW cameras to unsparingly chronicle his journey leading up to and including the 2010 Olympics; and who seized this chance to show the USFSA what everyone else in the world--or at least anyone who has eyes and a heart--can see:

Johnny Weir is a true champion.

And he's also the son of a very wise woman, who, when asked by the incomparable Viacheslav Romanov, "What destiny for Johnny?" answered, "To be a figure skater for the people ... more so than a figure skater for judges."

Absolutely. Patti Weir FTW.

So big, big congratulations, Johnny! We fans are so thrilled and so proud! And though Figure Skater of the Year doesn't even begin to cover it, it's a wonderful honor, and you have earned every inch of that trophy.

As well as a place in the hearts of people everywhere, who love you not only for what you do so brilliantly on the ice, but also for who you are.

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In honor of Johnny's win, we're pleased to announce two new additions to our JWe-TV programming lineup! Join us each week for exciting episodes of:

Program Justice!: Watch all Johnny’s competition programs following 2006 … only this time they’re scored by an impartial panel of robot judges. Although these automatons lack the ability to feel any human emotion whatsoever, EVEN THEIR SOULLESS MICROPROCESSORS are keen enough to sense that he has been grossly underscored. All scores are corrected, and then we hop in a time machine to hurry back and rewrite history correctly! (Note: No robots were harmed in the making of this program, though one model EL6.485 was mysteriously found ripped limb-from-hard-drive behind a Chuck-E-Cheese's in Jersey City [motto: "Stay classy!"]. No suspects have been identified, but no one evan knows what those are anyway … )

The Johnny Awards: Just endless--and endlessly satisfying--replays of Johnny receiving medals, awards, honors, additional medals, crowns of roses, trophies, and yet more medals, all accompanied by cheering crowds and standing ovations. Future episodes include footage of him accepting his Emmy, Oscar, Grammy, Video Music Award, Pulitzer, the Nobel Peace Prize, and of course the gold medal at Sochi in 2014 ... :)

[la la la I haz a happy la la la la la]

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Please check out Johnny's new entry
on the Sundance Channel's SUNFiltered blog!
At last the world knows why they're called "Dingles"!

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Hey! You can purchase a T-shirt to wear
in Sun Valley or Lake Placid

in honor of our Ride for Life project!

We exceeded our $7,500 donation goal,

so now we're aiming for $10,000!

We're less than $2,000 away,

and we have until July 31 to get there!

Shirts are $20 each including shipping,

and $10 of that goes directly toward AIDS/LifeCycle!

Everything you need to know about ordering is here!

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Very special thanks to Facebook fans
Nicole Davis and Jessica Lane
for Program Justice!

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copyright 2010 / Binky and the Misfit Mimes / Lynn V. Ingogly / all rights reserved