What's Next for a Man Who Has His Own Planet? Dancing With the Stars, Of Course!

Actually I'd say Johnny has been

dancing with the stars his whole life.

It's just taken the rest of the world

a while to catch on...

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[Readers' Advisory: I am feeling a bit scattered and not a little crabby. Also kinda whiny. It's like when all your clothes fit wrong and Johnny is in Japan but you're not and there's that one strand of hair that just keeps sticking out at a weird angle no matter how much water or hairspray you put on it and Johnny will be in Sun Valley but you won't and nothing tastes good but you keep wanting to snack on everything in sight because you're just so annoyed by the fact that all your clothes fit wrong and Johnny will also be in Lake Placid but you won't and there's that one strand of hair...

Sigh.

Anyway.]

So during the Bluefly.com tweet-a-thon with Johnny last week, Facebook fan BSonTwit asked, "We have been tweeting to get you on DWTS--do u want that?" To which Johnny replied with an emphatic, "Yes!"

And in another interview last week, Johnny mentioned again that he'd really love to partner with Karina Smirnoff on DWTS, and also that "we’re definitely talking to all the right people about Dancing With the Stars. They are definitely talking back to us, so it’s just going to be a matter of time."

Well, time is exactly what we have a lot of on our hands right now, what with Johnny in Japan this week for "Fantasy on Ice," a phrase that certainly fills us with intense mopey jealousy happiness for the Japanese fans. So what we need is a focused mission that involves mounting a foot massager social media to unite us in a common purpose that does not leave us staring wistfully at airfares to Japan and comparing those with the cost of simply FedExing ourselves to Superfan Ikuko and hoping she'll just place us gently on one of the several cartloads of gifts we're sure she'll be dropping off at the hotel throughout the week...

Again with the scattered. Focus, Binky, focus.

All righty then, Johnny! who probably spent the day poking Tara awake with his elbow every time she tried to catch just a ten-minute nap on the plane to Japan. Where I am not. Your wish is our command!

To amuse ourselves while Johnny is out of the country--which always leaves me feeling a bit bereft, because when he's in the US at least I understand the time zones but once he crosses over the International Dateline into tomorrow, I just feel really seriously left behind and all Back to the Future-ish and then I find myself pestering my son to please make me a real flux capacitor if he's not too busy modifying the source code to Windows 7 so it will stop making me all facedesk, and then I can swoop into Niigata in my DeLorean yesterday, which is like next Thursday or something in Japan, and join Ikuko rinkside with additional gifts--let's work on driving the Dancing With the Stars people into absolute deer-in-the-headlights Twitter overload! With bonus #failwhale!

"Let's dance...

put on your red shoes and dance the blues... "

--David Bowie, to whom Johnny has been compared

as a sort of "Man Who Fell to Jersey"

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Now when he says "talking to the right people," I have no idea what that means. Although I'm guessing the wrong people would be these. So I'm not exactly sure in which direction our Glitter Cannon o' Love should be aimed. Were it an ordinary cannon, of course I would be aiming it directly at the USFSA. But in this case, I think a multi-cannon approach is advisable. So, in consultation with other fans who also spent most of yesterday tracking Johnny's flight and wishing they were Tara want to make Johnny's DWTS dream come true, we came up with these steps (get it? "steps"? See, that's like a dance pun! A really, really sad one. Especially considering we started out here with a sort of "battle-plan" metaphor complete with cannons, and now all of a sudden we're doing dance steps, albeit awkward ones, because it's hard to dance gracefully with something as stiff and devoid of personality as a cannon. Just ask Anna Trebunskaya) to follow in launching our DWTS campaign.

So we're asking everybody to please:

*Join the Johnny Weir Needs to Be on DWTS Facebook page!

*Join the Dancing With the Stars Facebook page! ("1,124,404 People Can't Be Wrong! Unless They Voted for Bush!")

*Follow these Twitter accounts: @ABC_DWTS, @ABC_Publicity, and @TeamWeirnoff (yes! There's already a Twitter account and a cool team name for Johnny and Karina!).

*Post lots of messages on the DWTS FB page begging ABC to give us Team Weirnoff next season! So that those other 1,124,404 people might see our posts and decide they'd like that, too!

*Spread the word to the media via e-mail! Johnny-friendly media outlets include Perez Hilton (yes, I know. Just don't read the comments there. Perez is wonderfully supportive of Johnny and has a huge audience on his website and his Twitter); Greg in Hollywood (Twitter); Towleroad (Twitter); Dlisted; and Queerty (Twitter).

*Especially start tweeting like crazy to @ABC_DWTS and @ABC_Publicity--and everybody else above--to tell them we want to see TeamWeirnoff next season!

IMPORTANT TWEETING NOTES:
(1) Please use the hashtags #TeamWeirnoff and #DWTS so that we can track our tweets. #DWTS gets a LOT of usage onTwitter, so if we pair that with #TeamWeirnoff in our tweets, we have a good shot at garnering some attention.

(2) @TeamWeirnoff has been tweeting using the hashtag #JohnnyWeirDWTS. But unfortunately, when you track that hashtag, it gets renamed "#johnnyweirdwts," which the eye tends to read as  "JohnnyWeirdWTS" and we'd like to put an end to that whole "Johnny Weird" thing he's had to put up with his whole life. So for our purposes, please use #TeamWeirnoff and #DWTS.

(3) Our goal is to show ABC how popular Johnny is and what a boost he would be to DWTS' ratings. So, in contrast to NewNowNext, in which we sent LOTS OF TWEETS from a small group of tweeters, for DWTS we need LOTS OF PEOPLE--or at least what appears to be lots of people--to send (yes, lots of) tweets. Many of our NNN Olympic Tweeters opened multiple accounts, and we recommend that strategy also for DWTS.

OK then! We'll be posting updates on our tweeting and any responses we receive here and on our Johnny Weir Needs to Be on DWTS Facebook page!

We tweeted more than 100,000 votes for Johnny in the NewNowNext awards, hitting a peak average of more than 3,200 tweets per day. Let's see if we can beat those numbers for DWTS!

I leave you with this .gif of Johnny and Karina to inspire you to campaign for them. I'm going to start tweeting right away myself, just as soon as I fix that strand of hair again and update this .gif by carefully replacing Karina's head with my own ...

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Hey! You can purchase a T-shirt
in honor of our Ride for Life project!
We exceeded our $7,500 donation goal,
so now we're aiming for $10,000!
We're less than $2,000 away,
and we have until July 31 to get there!
Shirts are $20 each including shipping,
and $10 of that goes directly toward AIDS/LifeCycle!
Everything you need to know about ordering is here!

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PLEASE KEEP VOTING HERE for Johnny to win

the 2010 Readers' Choice Skater of the Year Award
(voting ends July 15)!

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Special thanks to Facebook fans Lizzy Pine for her art
and Robin Fosdick for her invaluable help
in writing this post (including but not limited to
the phrase, "Glitter Cannon o' Love")!

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copyright 2010 / Binky and the Misfit Mimes / Lynn V. Ingogly / all rights reserved