Johnny rehearsing.
Oh look. Skating tights.
Oh look. Skating tights.
Welcome to Today in Figure Skating!
Well, yesterday, really. But I'm going to be posting this on Facebook, where Timeline—which is neither timely nor linear—will whimsically decide to place it somewhere between Juneuary and Neverember, so whatever.
So I've been busily trying to catch up on stuff that does NOT taste like it has reams of paper close to it, which would include Johnny's Tuesday Tweetfest as summarized by this delicate haiku:
Starbucks dew, sparrow
song; pearls clutched whilst eyes stray
Astrogliding Baptists
OK, technically it ended up at 5 / 6 / 6 instead of 5 / 7 / 5, but I just couldn't NOT use "Astrogliding Baptists," and it still adds up to the desired 17 syllables. Which brings me to the latest in News from the Exciting World of Figure Skating as Reduced to Incomprehensible Logarithms Because Who Doesn't Love Those Zzzzzzzzzzz, via these two articles:
(1) "By Any Measure, Chan Was Best in 2011-12." A headline justified by a long list of ridiculously Chanflated scores seeking to justify... the headline. What. ("Look! He was best because the judges overscored him the most! See how high his scores were? That's why he's the best!")
Oddly, they left out some of the most compelling Chanstistics, as noted earlier this month by Phil Hersh of the Chicago Tribune. On April 2 :
And the follow-up, on April 20:
So yes, I guess by those measures also, he's the best...
But really, by ANY measure? That's a tall order--and not one Chan can fulfill if we're measuring by, oh, say, "height" (Johnny's taller. And he didn't even compete this season). Or "hair length" (two words: Charlie White). Or "likeability."
Not to be outdone in the Chanflation department, the caption for the photo accompanying this Ice Network article (and I like those lovely Ice Network people. What are they doing?) reads: "Patrick Chan is looking down at the rest of the skating world from his lofty perch."
Seriously?
Well, I'm sure it's nothing a little Astroglide couldn't fix.
For those of us who continue to bemoan Chanfatuation in an ever-louder chorus of WTF ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING TO THIS SPORT, the article is just one more groan-worthy Chanlucinogenic Chanfest. But the comments are priceless. Here's one of my favorites, from a person for whom English is likely a second language, yet she could not be more eloquent:
Click for larger view.
And here's my other favorite:
Click for larger view.
Nope.
(2) "Simplify the IJS: Bringing the Audience Back to Skating." By way of contrast, I came across this wonderfully cogent assessment of the strengths and flaws of the CoP and HOW TO FIX IT via the Blazing Blades guy, Peter Murray, who pointed his readers to this article on the Professional Skaters Association website by former champion ice dancer Ron Kravette (thanks to @dapperderp for the link!).
To which I must respond in this way:
Dear Mr. Kravette: OMG THANK YOU. I THOUGHT MAYBE NOBODY COULD HEAR OUR SCREAMS FROM WHATEVER CHANPOSSIBLY HIGH IVORY TOWER THE ISU SEEMS TO LIVE IN....
The whole article is brilliant. Favorite quotes:
The audience is now asked to endure the same uniform, frenetic style of skating, and the same disregard for musicality throughout the entire competition.
The technical panel has clear rules to award points. It also has, as [Chairman of the ISU Technical Committee Alexander] Lakernik laments, “exceptions, to the exceptions, to the exceptions, detailing that has gone too far.” It is these exceptions and rules which cause everyone’s programs to look similar and impossible for anyone but astrophysicist viewers to understand the scoring.
When skaters show intangible skating beauty, the judges must reward such, so that coaches will believe that more than just elements and difficult positions will count for points.
[T]rain judges to give scores based on the reality of a performance and not the skater’s reputation.
All disciplines in skating would benefit from greater simplicity in the rules. The logic of beautiful, smooth skating is universal. It must, once again, be allowed to count in the overall score.
It is vital for skating’s future that a large viewing audience is once again attracted to the sport. It would be a win for the entire skating industry.
THIS. ALL THIS.
THIS. SO. MUCH.
Ron joins other informed skating writers who have recently lamented the state of the sport, which is hemorrhaging fans like a patient on House who can't stop bleeding from every orifice while the team frowns and then decides to go bowling. Other excellent coverage of the subject can be found on Monica Friedlander's blog, Save Skating, which also includes Johnny's answers to her questions re: the judging system asked during his press conference on the day he announced his return to competition back in January (also a win for the entire skating industry).
Please give these articles a read, and then send some vibes to the Skating Deities that somebody else with some power will back up this ISU Lakernik guy, who sounds like he might have an actualfax clue, so maybe the Deities will seriously consider some of Ron's thoughtful suggestions.
And finally we end Catch Up On Really Important Stuff Day with a fabulous social media time-waster that offers hours of enjoyment without all the hassle of Fascistbook: A completely lolarious little app called "That Can Be My Next Tweet!" (Once again we can
Just type in any Twitter name, and it will generate random tweets based on stuff that person has tweeted previously, but in a completely nonsensical Google Translate kind of way. Here's a sample based on Johnny's Twitter. You may notice a pattern:
You're welcome. :D
Bonus catch-up video!! Posted about two weeks ago,
but worth another look even if you've already seen it.
Absolutely love this.
New on Johnny's website!! Only about six weeks until
he heads to China for Artistry on Ice: Red Temptation.
Weibo, here we come!!
Please come "like" it and enjoy browsing
through the posts and photos!
Photo © David Ingogly.
It's not too late! Subscribe now
and get the entire Johnny Weir perspective,
including his never-before-heard free skate commentary
available exclusively on icenetwork.com!
Q and A! Go read it now!
Johnny's Glitter and Ice collection
with MAC is pretty much sold out,
but I'm leaving this video on here
for a little while longer
because I love it so much.
At last: Pop Star On Ice is now available on DVD!
Order yours today from the Pop Star On Ice website!
Johnny tweeted:
"Buy my single,'Dirty Love' via iTunes.
Tell all your friends to as well. The more copies sold
takes me one step closer to making a video! №1!"
IN THE SAME WAY THAT IT NEEDS AIR.
You know what to do.
Please buy the song from Johnny's website,
or just click the "Buy" button on the player
at the top of the blog!
at the top of the blog!
Hey, Welcome to My World also is available
as an eBook! More info on Johnny's website!
copyright 2012 / Binky and the Misfit Mimes / Lynn V. Ingogly / all rights reserved
4 comments:
Here's suspecting that Patrick Chan gets his votes from both Canada and China (which does not have strong male figure skaters currently).
As they say in Yiddish, medals schmedals. Instead, note which skaters levitate fans across the continent or even the planet to watch them skate. Also, note their Twitter and Facebook followings. Also, note their coverage in both the sports and popular press.
By the way, Patrick Chan has only 18,482 Twitter followers. It is true that Canada has a much smaller population, but if Patrick were as fine a skater as his scores would indicate, Patrick should have a much larger international following.
ITA with everything you wrote, aaaack!
YES!! i saw that article and loved it!
dying laughing at the Twitter machine. is that real or did u make it up? kind of sleepy and not sure . . .
yay! for another Binky blog!
xo
Robin
I did NOT make that up! Click the link in the post and prepare yourself for hours of giggles... :DDD
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