#realityWEIR #realityWEIR #realityWEIR #realityWEIR--oh, and Readers' Choice Weir, too!

Vote for me. You know you want to.

I spent yesterday in Chicagoland, and every time I do I fall in love with it all over again. I especially love its rich political history, evoked most often in the sagacious phrase generally atttributed to "Big Bill" Thompson, the early 20th-century mayor who lived cozily ensconced in Al Capone's breast pocket: "Vote early and often!"

Yes, of course that last part is illegal, though illegalities are such a trifling matter in Chicago politics it's barely worth mentioning.

But mention it I do, partly because I'm exhausted and not making any sense, but also because voting early and often is exactly what Johnny Weir fans have been doing to garner Johnny the NewNowNext award for "Most Addictive Reality Star" (because THAT he is).

Voting continues until June 4, and voting often is exactly what those nice NewNowNext people are encouraging everyone to do. You can vote as many times as you like for Johnny, either on the NewNowNext web site, or by tweeting #realityWEIR endlessly until Twitter politely asks you to KNOCK IT OFF for a while because you're clogging up their servers and Glenn Beck is whining that all your #realityWEIR and #hotBETTYWHITE tweets keep knocking his too far down the feed. Proof again that there is a God.

And now we have a new voting opportunity presented to us by the awe-inspiringly bipolar USFSA*, who has seen fit to include Johnny as a candidate for the Readers' Choice Award for Skater of the Year on their web site, but left him off the ballot entirely for the Best Skater/Team of All Time--a contest which apparently Kanye West had a hand in naming--that they're promoting on their Facebook page.

So while we fans mull over the appropriately diplomatic way to point out to the USFSA that it is an absolute disgrace that they left out Johnny--who has so transformed men's figure skating that even the Marines watch him, for crying out loud (another Glenn Beck reference. Did you guys catch that?)--though we do offer our thanks to the USFSA for being consistent in their ability to completely suck, let's get the vote out for Johnny to win this year's Readers' Choice Award!

(And please, let's do wait and work together to formulate a response to the USFSA's appalling slight of Johnny. As much fun as I certainly would find it to be to spam their Facebook page with all kinds of four-letter-word-based macros, we don't want to do anything as fans that might embarrass Johnny. Let's team up to create something as gracious and dignified as Johnny's Olympic press conference, the gold standard for dealing with idiocy.)

To vote in the Readers' Choice contest, please go here, fill out the simple registration form, and choose Johnny from the pull-down menu (he's the third skater listed).

Sadly, the USFSA only allows one vote per e-mail address, though that policy does leave open creative possibilities that I must discuss with my son as soon as he's through rewriting the source code for the FPS game "Stalker: Call of Pripyat."

(Aaaaack. No, no, no. No cheating. We don't need to cheat for Johnny to win this award. He's already earned it. We just need to vote.)

(And now who's bipolar? I'm all sitting here talking to my evil twin ... wait, am I the evil one? Or are you?)

(IDK. Who the hell are you?)

Anyway: PLEASE VOTE FOR JOHNNY TO WIN THIS AWARD TOO! Besides being, yes, the Most Addictive Reality Star of All Time--and I'm sure Kanye would agree, along with Johnny's 57,080 Twitter followers and 38,253 Facebook fans--he deserves to be recognized as Skater of the Year for his truly incredible Olympic performances; the equally incredible worldwide outpouring of love that those performances evoked; and his elevation of men's figure skating to a whole new level, both artistically and in popularity everywhere.

So please join me and that other person arguing with me on this page who's really getting on my nerves and let's go vote some more right now!

(Hey, are you going to stop ending every sentence you speak with #realityWEIR? Cuz that was starting to totally freak out the waitress at the Cheesecake Factory...).

(Nope. #realityWEIR.)

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Please keep voting for Johnny
as "Most Addictive Reality Star"
in the NewNowNext Awards! Vote here
(he's the last one listed in the fifth category--scroll down!)
or on Twitter by constantly tweeting #realityWEIR.

Voting ends June 4, which gives us plenty of time

to get Johnny oh, say, ONE MILLION votes!
And vote here for Johnny to win
the 2010 Readers' Choice Skater of the Year Award!

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*Disclaimer: Please know that no offense is intended to anyone
whose life has been touched in some way by bipolar disorder.
Although I would be more offended if someone compared me
to the USFSA, actually. Oh dear. No offense intended
to those who are supportive of the USFSA...
copyright 2010 / Binky and the Misfit Mimes / Lynn V. Ingogly / all rights reserved