Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Still Running a Little Low on Words So Here, Have Some Pics ...

Yes, the first photos are in from the epic trip to China!
Here is Johnny resting comfortably
in the Lufthansa lounge before boarding his flight,
happy that he has successfully smuggled
a loaf of LV-stamped bread through security
hidden in his Chanel bag
(sort of like turducken, only with designer labels ... ).
May we also just say: Arms.

And here is Johnny struggling helplessly
to stop his seat back from ending up flat on the floor
after Tara secretly pushed
the "lay down bed" button on his chair remote--
which of course is just the tiniest bit of payback
for all the flights to Russia and Japan in which he spent
the entire time elbowing Tara every five minutes
and saying, "I'm bored," while she was trying to sleep ...
(Note: Is he really wearing sweatpants of some kind?
Discuss.)


If you would like to actually read something, please go here now to enjoy the second installment of "Johnny Comes to Our Office!" with more fabulous pics. Today's portion of this wonderful interview is titled, "You Weren't Competing Against Anyone," and includes some very thoughtful quotes as well as this don't-miss exchange:

Shigesato Itoi: [At the Olympics], you stood out amongst others, you looked very different.

Johnny: Was it just the rhinestones?



Twitter voting roundup!
Vote here for Johnny to win "Follow Me."
Current rank: #1
10 voting days remaining.

Vote here for Johnny to win "Sexiest Twitter"!
Current rank: #3
4 voting days remaining.

Vote here for Johnny to win "Mr. Twitter"!
Current rank: #3
but we're closing in on Michael Jackson... (?)
Voting ends at midnight tonight!

Vote here for Johnny to win "Best of Twitter"!
Current rank: #4
(Wow! He surpassed President Obama!)
Voting ends at midnight tonight!

Vote here for Vanya and BonBon
to win "Best Pets" (awwwww....).
Current rank: #8
Voting ends at midnight tonight!

Vote here for Gail Turley's blog
"WheresMyKoppy" to win "Best Blog"
Current rank: #5
17 voting days remaining.


Hey! Johnny Is skating in Yu-Na Kim's fabulous show,
All That Skate, in Los Angeles in October!
Everything you need to know about tickets
and special gatherings of The Cabal
is right here!

Weirlandians for Life organizer Gary Podschun
notes that we're a little more than one month away
from the Chicago AIDS Walk,
and WE STILL NEED AT LEAST TWO MORE PEOPLE
TO OFFICIALLY FORM A TEAM!
Please visit the group page here for more info.
We hope to see Johnny well-represented by his fans
at the walk on October 2!

Special thanks to Ninja Girl and my own NicoFierce
once again for their invaluable help and inspiration. :)

Coming soon: More in the series
of translated interviews from the Mook Book
courtesy of the fabulous Akiko Nakata!

copyright 2010 / Binky and the Misfit Mimes / Lynn V. Ingogly / all rights reserved

Monday, August 30, 2010

Random Pre-Caffeinated Stream of Consciousness on a Monday Morning...

Kayso I kind of ran out of words because I used them all up on a quixotic nine-page footnoted crusade because I am nothing if not psychotically thorough (oh! the audacity of some blogger tackling such a prestigious magazine! and clearly she's on Fireworks' payroll [um, no--everything I've ever written up to this point for / near /above / below / in / around / insert the preposition of your choice here / about Johnny Weir is entirely an unpaid labor of love and what a sad commentary on our society that hardly anyone can believe that] she really needs a hobby [hello this IS my hobby] cluck cluck what must her family think? [that I'm nuts, of course, but after growing up with me their whole lives nothing really surprises them and no matter what they are my most stalwart supporters not that it's really any of your business] and if anyone's homophobic it's her [oh dear I must have really missed the mark there because of course I have no problem at all with men of any orientation wearing false eyelashes or skirts or dresses or heels or whatever pleases them and allows them to be true to who they are my point is that's not a true portrait of Johnny in his everyday life although if it were that would be just lovely as long as it was described in truth and without snark] etc. etc.), and so all I have left now are the straggler words who couldn't quite get their horses and armor together [yes I've been watching Pillars of the Earth on Starz] and are just milling around like those fatalistic workers outside the day-labor office, smoking and slurping bitter coffee in styrofoam cups and wondering if there will be anything at all to do today ...

And no, not really.

[BTW is it wrong that I don't like it when Johnny flies halfway across the world for weeks at a time? Although I'm completely thrilled for all the fans who will get to see him during his time in Asia, where once again he'll be treated like royalty which is of course as it should be. But it just feels funny when he's not in the U.S. ... Actually, some East Coast fans have confessed that sometimes it doesn't even feel right when he's just on the West Coast. Well, it's all part of that whole ... thing, I guess, as best described in my new motto: "Batshit crazy and proud of it since January 2010!" OK, it needs polishing, but like I said I'm working with the dregs here and plus my kids aren't really sure the date is accurate...]

And the idea of two weeks in Asia brings me to the blog that you really must read today, which is not so much this one as the delightful one here. Today is the first installment of a series titled "Johnny Comes to Our Office."

I totally love this man, because he totally loves Johnny the way I do. Here's his entry from February 20, after the conclusion of the men's figure skating in the 2010 Olympics--an entry that eventually sparked the visit from Johnny:

Right now, my interest and attention goes to Johnny Weir, the figure skater. He was as if the definition of art had come to life. Medals, scores, nationalities, the crowd ... he seemed to have transcended them all. To my eyes, he seemed as if he had an uncontrollable desire to express himself ...

I felt that I had witnessed "Art" as discussed with philosopher Takaaki Toshimoto. I'm really happy that I was able to see his performance.

He's going to be running his interview with Johnny in multiple parts over the next two weeks, which will be a lovely diversion from the fact that Johnny's far from home right now. And if you want to tell him how much you love it so far, you can contact him on Twitter at @itoi_shigesato. Please use the hashtag #jw_itoi so he can be sure to see your tweet.

So please click on over and enjoy the photos, the vids, and the thoughtful, engaging, and humorous text. Cuz that's where all the cool words are hanging out today.

And Johnny, please, please send us some twitpics while you're away--you know, like these photos of you and the fabulous Mr. Brad Goreski from last week's trip to LA:





Twitter voting roundup!
Vote here for Johnny to win "Follow Me."
Current rank: #1
11 voting days remaining.

Vote here for Johnny to win "Sexiest Twitter"!
Current rank: #3
5 voting days remaining.

Vote here for Johnny to win "Mr. Twitter"!
Current rank: #3
but we're closing in on Michael Jackson... (?)
1 voting day remaining.

Vote here for Johnny to win "Best of Twitter"!
Current rank: #4
(Wow! He surpassed President Obama!)
1 voting day remaining.

Vote here for Vanya and BonBon
to win "Best Pets" (awwwww....).
Current rank: #8
1 voting day remaining.

Vote here for Gail Turley's blog
"WheresMyKoppy" to win "Best Blog"
Current rank: #5
18 voting days remaining.


Hey! Johnny Is skating in Yu-Na Kim's fabulous show,
All That Skate, in Los Angeles in October!
Everything you need to know about tickets
and special gatherings of The Cabal
is right here!

Weirlandians for Life organizer Gary Podschun
notes that we're a little more than one month away
from the Chicago AIDS Walk,
and WE STILL NEED AT LEAST TWO MORE PEOPLE
TO OFFICIALLY FORM A TEAM!
Please visit the group page here for more info.
We hope to see Johnny well-represented by his fans
at the walk on October 2!

Coming soon: More in the series
of translated interviews from the Mook Book
courtesy of the fabulous Akiko Nakata!

copyright 2010 / Binky and the Misfit Mimes / Lynn V. Ingogly / all rights reserved

Friday, August 27, 2010

Fun With Butch and Grams!

Johnny with David Barba (left) and James Pellerito--
or "Butch" and "Grams," as Johnny calls them--
at the New York premiere
of Pop Star on Ice, June 2009.


Special Friday fun! We present the third in a series of interviews translated from the incredibly fabulous Japanese Mook Book.  Today's selection is the interview with David "Butch" Barba and James "Grams" Pellerito, conducted by Akiko Tamura in New York City in May 2010, and presented on pages 70-71 of the Mook.

Butch and Grams are, of course, the brilliant visionary team who first realized that Johnny Weir should be filmed pretty much 24/7, and therefore The Cabal offers them our undying gratitude and also complimentary cupcakes and Tatty Terry Robes of Transcendental Glory, plus matching glue-gun-welded tiaras.

Both are fascinating men with excellent credentials. From their bios on the Pop Star on Ice website:

David Barba
Pop Star on Ice Writer / Director / DP / Editor / Producer
David was born in Monterrey, Mexico, and raised in Mexico City. Half Mexican and half Scottish, he received a BA in Feminist Studies from Stanford University. After working in the film industries in New York, London, and Mexico City, David attended Columbia University, receiving an MFA in Film. His short film ADIOS, PARA SIEMPRE (2006 HBO Urbanworld VIBE Best Short Film) shot on location in Mexico City, has screened at festivals worldwide and on television on Showtime in the U.S. and AXN throughout Latin America. POP STAR ON ICE is his first feature.

James Pellerito
Pop Star on Ice Writer / Director / DP / Editor / Producer
James was born and raised in Vicenza, Italy, near Venice. James moved to New York to attend Columbia and received a BA and MFA in Film as well as an MA in Art History and Cinema Studies from NYU. He worked for many years at The Metropolitan Museum of Art, in the Greek and Roman Art Department. His short film MAREE (TIDES), shot on location in Venice, was screened in over one hundred festivals worldwide and won awards at over twenty-five festivals, including Berlin, Rhode Island, and Cinequest, qualifying it for Academy Award consideration in 2005. POP STAR ON ICE is his first feature.

In the Mook, the interview is titled, "What Is Impressive About Johnny Is His Recovery Power."

Editorial note: As I was working on these translations with the amazing Akiko Nakata, I was struck by the marked contrast between the Mook interviews and the NY Mag piece. Interviewer Akiko Tamura, an accomplished sports journalist, guides each interview with thoughtful questions and an attitude of respect, and she draws out equally thoughtful answers and comments from her interviewees. She is engaging but never intrusive, and thus her work allows her interviewees to speak for themselves, and lets the reader really "meet" these people through their own words. Her upcoming Mook interview with Johnny, and her own essay about him in the Mook, is journalism at its best.



When the BGJW series began, there was no way to know whether or not Johnny would make it to the Olympics. After following him all this time, you must be very thrilled.
James: We never doubted his abilities and his ambition. If we were concerned about anything, it was the unpredictability of figure skating. No matter how excellent a skater may be, you never know what will happen to him at a competition. So in that sense, yes, we were thrilled!

You have been with Johnny for a long time. What most impressed you about him?
James: We have been following Johnny closely for four years. What we were most impressed by was his recovery power. After the 2007 Worlds in Tokyo, he was so down that he was thinking of quitting. He decided he needed to change something, so he left Pricilla and came to Galina. It was a huge decision that required a lot of courage, but he came to that decision all on his own. He missed the 2009 Worlds, but in the next season he medaled at both the GP Finals and the U.S. Nationals, and was chosen to go to the Olympics. We found his recovery ability really amazing.

David: And you can say that even if you have only watched him during the Olympic season. At the Cup of Russia, he was getting very nervous about competing after a ten-month-long interval. At the NHK Trophy, he was backed into a corner; he would have been finished if he couldn't get better scores. And many people said, "Johnny is finished." As we show in our documentary, Johnny was in bad shape in Japan, fighting terrible flu. However, he earned a medal, and it enabled him to go on to the GP Finals. Of course, he was a little lucky, too, but any skater needs good luck sometimes.

That luck gave your documentary a fabulously dramatic development.
David: Indeed. As a result, it did.

James: Another thing that impresses me about Johnny is his honesty and frankness. He expresses himself so clearly and openly, yet he always leaves a good impression. After listening to everything he might say in a whole day, day after day, our impression of Johnny never changed. This is something we could not find in any other skater.

Where does he get his personality from?
David: No doubt from his parents. They are totally different from Johnny, but they encouraged him to have his opinions. Thanks to them, Johnny grew up naturally and freely, just—Johnny. He is honest and frank, and we can't ever dislike him no matter how clearly he expresses his varied opinions! A lot of his fans are probably attracted to that part of his personality. Since many skaters only say non-controversial, politically correct things in public, Johnny's frankness feels fresh.

James: At the same time, Johnny is respectful of others. He never condemns anyone. If he criticizes another skater, it's only because he has experienced something really terrible from that skater. Usually he only has positive things to say about others.

James and David at the LA premiere
of Pop Star on Ice at OutFest, July 2009.
Did you ever have any challenges in filming Johnny and/or his coaches? What were you most concerned about?
David: We cared a lot about our relationships with the coaching team. Galina is a world- famous coach, Viktor is an Olympic medalist, and Nina is his wife and Galina's daughter. They are a coaching team and a family, into which we had to enter for shooting.
        We never forgot the fact that most of all, Johnny is a skater: He is an athlete, not a reality-show star. We were always very careful to be aware of when it was OK to film, and when we should not be there.
        Galina is, like Johnny, extraordinarily frank, and she spoke out clearly whenever she found something she disliked. She was easy to understand and we were grateful to her for that. We had no friction, but we did try to be very sensitive. We think Galina is an amazing person who, as a coach, gave Johnny what he needed. It was very important for us not to disturb her and the others on the team.

James: Especially during the Olympic season. We were extremely careful never to disturb Johnny's training for the Olympics. We were aware that that was the real priority for everyone. On the other hand, when we were in Russia or Japan to film Johnny at competitions, we wanted to successfully shoot scenes we needed for the documentary, and we were always hoping for Johnny to perform well enough to be on the podium. So there was a lot of pressure.

David: Shooting a documentary always requires, “Hurry up and wait!” We never know when and how a good chance to film will come. Actually, we were waiting almost 24 hours a day!

What did you think about the result at the Vancouver Olympics?
James: It was a total shame. David and I took the short program scores as an obvious message from the judges: "We don’t want to give him a medal." We felt like deflated balloons.
        The last group for the free skate usually consists of five or six skaters. This time, Johnny was to skate as the fifth competitor in the last group, and Plushenko was to skate right after him. When we knew the order, we thought it couldn't be better for Johnny. Honestly, at this point, we thought a medal would be almost impossible anyway. So we watched Johnny's free skate with just the hope that he would perform his best. Our hearts were just full in realizing that we were finally at the Vancouver Olympics after following Johnny for four years. It was a rare opportunity for us to relax and just get to watch him perform without having to worry about filming.
        After watching his performance, we thought it might actually be possible to see him on the podium. So did the audience; so did the coaches. But no—it wasn’t to be.
[Note: James and David did not have permission to film at the Olys, so they were able to simply enjoy being spectators.]

David: After the short program, the judges' message was clear. Still, we were shocked that Johnny ended in sixth place after such an excellent free skate. We felt that it was derogatory toward Johnny. He should have been at least fourth place. But we are so proud of him that in that performance; he proved himself to be a top athlete as well as an artist. The elements he did in the program were exactly the same as those that Evan Lysacek did.
        I'm sure that Johnny was the only skater of the night who performed so perfectly that he made us forget to count the number of his spins and jumps. Under the 6.0 scoring system, it would not have been a surprise if he had received some 6.0s.
        If you look at the scores on the short programs, there are only small differences among the top three skaters, and large gaps between these three and the other skaters. It was obvious that the judges wanted those top three skaters to medal. However, we feel Johnny performed better than the fourth- and fifth-place skaters. We love Nobunari [Oda], but that night, unfortunately for him, the laces on his skate broke and he had to stop for a while in the middle of his performance. But his points and Johnny's were almost same—that astonished us.

James: I can only say this: What has been lost since the current scoring system was adopted is the ability to highly evaluate a skater who performs as if all the elements were very easy.
        The 6.0 scoring system rewarded the skaters who could perform difficult elements and make it look effortless. Brian Boitano, Kristi Yamaguchi—all the great skaters in the past were like that. So is Shizuka Arakawa. Watching her jumps, I feel as if I could jump like she does—she seems to jump so easily, with no effort at all.
        The current system tends to award high scores to skaters who look like "I am doing something very very difficult." Johnny’s basic skills are so excellent that he seems to do everything naturally and effortlessly. His triple combination looks like a piece of cake. His transitions are always beautifully done and never leave the audience thinking, "Oh, he’s working really hard." And so the current scoring system is unfavorable for skaters like Johnny.

David: Nonetheless, he didn't show his disappointment even after he saw the scores. He reacted calmly. His graceful attitude was highly valued by his fans. That's one reason why he got so many new fans after the Olympics.

Last question: Do you think there is anything Johnny needs in order to become the top skater in the world—if he wants to continue competing?
David: We asked Viktor the same question. He told us that the only thing Johnny needs, technically speaking, is quads. Some people say that if he would behave in a more "politically correct" manner, the judges would treat him more favorably—but that wouldn't be Johnny anymore. And he wouldn't be willing to betray himself just to be loved by judges.

James: It would be possible if he skated a program composed solely to get more points under the current scoring system. But I don't agree, as some have said, that his Olympic programs lacked the elements necessary to win.

David: Johnny is so gorgeously "showy," both on and off the ice, that he is often misunderstood, but his efforts and concentration as an athlete are tremendous. Especially during the Olympic season, his concentration was almost unearthly. He is never a superficial young man whose interests are mostly in fashion—there's no doubt about that, we can assure you, after having watched him all these years more closely than anyone else has.

James: It isn't possible for anyone to skate both a clean short program and a clean free skate in the Olympics just because he's lucky. To achieve that, Johnny trained harder than ever before during these years running up to the Olympics. The present ISU officials probably did not want him on the podium. If we were asked what we thought he lacked to make the podium, our answer would be: Politically correct behavior. On the other hand, NBC and other television networks recognize that U.S. figure skating needs some star figure skaters like Johnny. That's why they asked him to broadcast as a commentator.

David: The U.S. itself needs a star skater, whose name and face are recognized and remembered not only by figure-skating fans, but by people all around the country. Johnny is that star skater.

Paris, Johnny, James, and David
during the Q and A after the screening
of Pop Star on Ice at BAM
(Brooklyn Academy of Music) in New York,
August 2009.


Twitter voting roundup!
Vote here for Johnny to win "Follow Me."
Current rank: #1
14 voting days remaining.

Vote here for Johnny to win "Sexiest Twitter"!
Current rank: #3
8 voting days remaining.

Vote here for Johnny to win "Mr. Twitter"!
Current rank: #3
but we're closing in on Michael Jackson... (?)
4 voting days remaining.

Vote here for Johnny to win "Best of Twitter"!
Current rank: #4
(Wow! He surpassed President Obama!)
4 voting days remaining.

Vote here for Vanya and BonBon
to win "Best Pets" (awwwww....).
Current rank: #8
4 voting days remaining.

Vote here for Gail Turley's blog
"WheresMyKoppy" to win "Best Blog"
Current rank: #7
21 voting days remaining.


Hey! Johnny Is skating in Yu-Na Kim's fabulous show,
All That Skate, in Los Angeles in October!
Everything you need to know about tickets
and special gatherings of The Cabal
is right here!

Weirlandians for Life organizer Gary Podschun
notes that we're a little more than one month away
from the Chicago AIDS Walk,
and WE STILL NEED AT LEAST TWO MORE PEOPLE
TO OFFICIALLY FORM A TEAM!
Please visit the group page here for more info.
We hope to see Johnny well-represented by his fans
at the walk on October 2!

Coming soon: More in the series
of translated interviews from the Mook Book
courtesy of the fabulous Akiko Nakata!

copyright 2010 / Binky and the Misfit Mimes / Lynn V. Ingogly / all rights reserved

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Welcome to The Cabal


From the Comments section of New York Magazine,
August 22, 2010.
Because of course those who spoke up have to be
marginalized as "that crazy cabal
of rabid Johnny Weir fans" since it couldn't
possibly be that people raised legitimate objections
or that NYMag was actually, you know,
wrong about some stuff.
My friend and fellow fan Gail Turley
has covered this thoughtfully and insightfully
on her blog, thus freeing me to respond
with exceptional silliness.


We interrupt our recent impassioned tilting at windmills and launching of the Ulysses of all letters to the editor to bring you this never-before-revealed, behind-the-scenes look at that dark, mystical, and nebulous network--shrouded in secrecy and spoken of only when reporters get called out for doing stupid shit--known as: The Cabal.

In accordance with pre-Druid custom, The Cabal meets only every third blue moon. Or when we feel like hanging out on Twitter and creating new hashtags #WTFNYMag #tinyunderwearFTW #YoureACar #dontmakemeget mygluegun #sodoesthatmakeJohnnyTheCabalGuy? Here then, in an edited portion of the latest gathering, The Cabal's secret rituals and ancient oaths are revealed for the first time.



[cue Gregorian chant]

[whispered] Welcome to ... The Cabal.

[The Cabal's Mysterious Central Vortex, known only as The Scribe, has appeared out of nowhere like a mad-sparkly ninja]

We're so glad you've come to join us.

[furtive glances all around]

Did you bring your copy of NYMag? You've torn the pictures out? Preserved the quotes? Excellent. You're just in time. After the initiation--or, in The Cabal's terms, The Insinuation, because of course everything is just implied and hinted at and coated with innuendo--we'll be worshiping the photos while we throw the text onto the bonfire and perform the Dance of the Never-Ending BlueFly Contest.

[chanting continues softly]

Here. Put this on. It is the Tatty Terry Robe of Transcendental Glory. Be sure to tighten it with the attached Pink Chiffon Belt against which your stomach must strain. No, the glue gun goes in the right-hand pocket. Don't forget to put The Rollers in Your Hair.

And now The Eyelashes. Yes, they are the outrageously ridiculous ones The Blessed Mother once wore that make it very hard to keep the red out. Indeed, the very same that Exalted Maestro of Makeup Joey Camasta would never apply to our Ultimate Grand Supreme Master of Onesies and Wearer of Swarovski, Our Most Eminent Keeper of the Triple Axel, Chancellor of Chanel, and Grand Standard-Bearer of the Flip-Off.

[chanting stops]

[hushed tones]

Yes. Him.

[chanting resumes]

Affix the Conversational "Ask-Me-About-My-Cabal!" button to your left lapel. It must be worn at all times to identify you as one of the Fiercely Protective (read: dismissed as completely batshit crazy and therefore arrogantly ignored but hoo boy that might be a mistake. Repeat after me: Condemnant Quod Non Intellegunt--They Condem That Which They Do Not Understand).

Hark! I hear the battle cry of Grindr, The Behemoth!

[chanting ceases]

It is time.

All hail The Cabal! All blessings upon this Grand Encampment of The Cabal's Most Worshipful Watchers of the Weir!

Tonight we have one who wishes to be accepted as An Initiate and who comes bearing the required gifts: A tiny pair of Louboutins, and a tiny Birkin.

[The Cabal murmurs its approval: "OMG that is SO cute! LOVE the color! And those heels! He would totally wear those for another Cass Bird shoot! Quick, somebody twitpic this!"]

And now, O Initiate: You may approach The Altar of Beanie Babies and Porcelain Figurines to offer your gifts to the Lady Gaga and take the Blood Oath.

Use this skate blade to (pretend to) slice your palm (because yuck! We don't really want blood everywhere. It's so hard to clean up. Even with the Wet-Jet Swiffer of Death).

[The Initiate pantomimes cutting. The Wonderful Wizard of Wipes remains at the ready should something unfortunate occur that involves mess.]

And now, the oath:

Do you swear by all that is Glittery and Radiant and Outspoken and Not Bound By Rigid Gender Norms to always speak the truth, to not succumb to peer pressure, to deal with all things fashionably, to refuse to use boxes or labels of any kind, to remember that it's not the falling down but the getting up that matters, and to always live faithfully to your soul? If so, say, "Sparkle! We've got to sparkle!"

[Initiate responds]

Now The Initiate must repeat our Latin vows (which might Seem Random sort of like This kind Of capitaliZation, But if you ReaD tHem All toGether in a sIng-soNgy Gregorian Chant sort oF wAy they fOrm a moSt Poetic Creed):

[The Scribe intones, and The Initate repeats]

Cygnus Inter Anates
[He Is a] Swan Among Ducks

Omnis Qvi Corvscat Est Or
All That Glitters Is Gold

Nvnqvam Vestimvs
We Never Clothe

Ego Te Provoco
I Provoke You

Esto Quod Es
Be What You Are

Ex Malo Bonum
[Create] Good Out of Evil

Fac Fortia Et Patere
Do Brave Deeds and Endure

Flectere Si Nequeo Superos, Achaeronta Movebo
If I Cannot Move Heaven, I Will Raise Hell

And finally:

Fiat Panis!
Let There Be Bread!

[The Most High Baker of Both Bread and Cupcakes for the Pain brings forth the Loaf of Bread into Which "LV" Has Been Stamped on Every Slice. All share the bread]

[The Scribe continues]

And now, O Initiate, you shall receive the Mark of the Diva ...

[The Scribe stamps The Initiate's hand with the double-C Chanel logo]

... And The Big, Fat, Politically Incorrect Crystal-Coated Fox-Fur Russian Hat (Also Available in Faux for Conscientious Objectors).

[The Hat is placed on The Initiate's head while The Initiate admires it with pursed lips in the surrounding Phalanx of Mirrors]

And now, Grindr, The Behemoth, Most Puissant Sovereign Grand Commander of the Army of Weir, do you accept This Initiate as an Illustrious Intern of the Fashion Brigade?

[Grindr speaks]

Guuuuurrrrrlllll!

[The Scribe turns to another of The Cabal]

O Most Fearsomely Well-Spoken JohnnysMonster, Keeper of Hashtags and Dweller Next to But Not Really In the Gutter: Bring forth The Crockpot!

[The Initiate receives a miniature Crockpot to be worn on the Pink Chiffon Belt]

Welcome! You are now one of us! Join in our refrain:

[All chant]

Think You Spicy But From Fat It Down!

[The ceremony concludes as everyone tosses back a Bellini and shouts "Cocaine!" randomly for three hours straight while dancing around the bonfire to "Poker Face" and "Bad Romance."]

(A "cabal"? Really? That just totally made me lol. #LolAndCabalRhymeFTW.)



Twitter voting roundup!
Vote here for Johnny to win "Follow Me."
Current rank: #1
16 voting days remaining.

Vote here for Johnny to win "Sexiest Twitter"!
Current rank: #3
10 voting days remaining.

Vote here for Johnny to win "Mr. Twitter"!
Current rank: #3
but we're closing in on Michael Jackson... (?)
6 voting days remaining.

Vote here for Johnny to win "Best of Twitter"!
Current rank: #4
(Wow! He surpassed President Obama!)
6 voting days remaining.

Vote here for Vanya and BonBon
to win "Best Pets" (awwwww....).
Current rank: #8
6 voting days remaining.

Vote here for Gail Turley's blog
"WheresMyKoppy" to win "Best Blog"
Current rank: #7
23 voting days remaining.


Hey! Johnny will be choosing the winner
of a virtual styling session with him
and a $500 shopping spree
from BlueFly.com ... um ... any minute now ... !
Stay tuned! More info here!

Special thanks to all the #Twingles who attended the
recent meeting of The Cabal on Twitter
and provided endless inspiration.
Very special thanks to Debora Walsh, Ninja Girl,
and my own NicoFierce for your exceptional brilliance
in the face of really stupid stuff.

Coming soon: More in the series
of translated interviews from the Mook Book
courtesy of the fabulous Akiko Nakata!

copyright 2010 / Binky and the Misfit Mimes / Lynn V. Ingogly / all rights reserved

Friday, August 20, 2010

More from the Mook: Tara Tells All!

Johnny and his beloved Agentress Extraordinaire
Tara Modlin at EQCA, April 2010.


Special Friday fun! Today we present the second in a series of interviews translated from the incredibly fabulous Japanese Mook Book. In honor of Agentress Tara Modlin's birthday tomorrow, our selection comes from her interview conducted by Akiko Tamura in New York City in May 2010, and presented on pages 68-69 of the Mook.

As anyone who has seen even a single episode of BGJW knows, being Johnny's agent is best described as similar to herding cats. Only more challenging. And with snuffles. Watching them work, joke, argue, and roughhouse together, there's a sense that maybe each is the sibling the other never had: For Johnny, she's a loving but necessarily bossy (because he NEEDS that) big sister; for Tara, he's a pesky but adorable little brother. As you'll see below, Akiko Tamura makes a similar observation. :)

In the Mook, the interview is titled, "I Want Johnny to Continue Skating Forever and Ever."



Skaters’ agents rarely come onstage, but Tara Modlin, who was a competitive figure skater herself, doesn't hesitate to appear before the camera and offer her comments. Johnny seems to have a good relationship with the cheerful and sociable Tara. Seeing them together, they seem like brother and sister rather than business partners.

Will you tell me about your first meeting with Johnny?
This is my favorite story of my whole life as an agent! In 2003, I was looking for a skater to participate in “The Charity Ice Show Dedicated to 9/11 Victims,” the second ice show I produced. At that time, Johnny was a young skater who had not yet won a senior title. An acquaintance recommended him to me, saying, “He will be a national champion someday.” So I asked him to join. After the show, all the skaters were relaxing in the VIP room. But Johnny was in a corner talking with my grandmother, a fashionable older lady. I wondered why a boy his age would be sitting with my grandmother! Coming closer, I found them enthusiastically chatting about fashion, make-up, the theatre, and costumes [laughing]. I was impressed that he was so kind as to sit and visit with an older lady. That inspired me to become friends with him, and with his mother, too.

When did you become his agent?
Before Nationals three years ago—probably around November.

You have several skaters as your clients. How different is Johnny from the others?
He’s totally different! [laughing] It was my honor to have Johnny, the three-time U.S. champion, as my client in this Olympic year. Every morning when I got up, I pinched my cheek to make sure it wasn’t a dream. I am closest to Johnny of all my clients, and one of the reasons is that we live near each other. A lot of events are held in NYC. When Johnny is invited to an event, I go with him, so we have a lot of opportunities to spend time together. I work hard for all my clients, but Johnny is my friend as well as my business partner.

I’m sure you know some aspects of Johnny that are unknown to his fans. Will you share some with us?
He’s a cleaning freak. To my eyes, my condo in NYC is usually clean enough, but he never finds it satisfactory. As soon as he comes over, he begins to look for Windex and a vacuum cleaner.

I do hope he will come to my house! [laughing]
Seriously, I think he would be the best roommate! Another story: He always has a bag with him, and he hates to throw things into it randomly. He has a rule that everything has to be put in separate small cases--a case for his wallet, a case for tissue, a case for pens--everything should be in a case, and all the cases should be put in the bag in proper order.

He really loves to keep everything orderly, doesn’t he?
Yes, he does. It’s the same when he packs. Like, say, his umbrella must be put in its proper place so he can find it at first glance.

Tara and Johnny
at the Pop Star on Ice
screening in NYC,
June 2009.
You seem to be not only his agent but also a good adviser for him.
I would say we are very good advisers for each other. He always gives me good advice on the outfit I should wear when I go out. Of course, sometimes I give him some advice. He has a lot of aspects to his personality, so I suggest to him which one he should focus on at any given time.

Johnny doesn’t seem like a person who obediently does what he is told.
You’re right. When someone tells him to do something, he does something else, usually the opposite of what he was told to do [laughing]. But it isn’t that he will never accept anyone’s opinion. Especially when he trusts someone, he listens carefully to what that person tells him.

He is known to always be sociable and outspoken. As his agent, have you ever been troubled by something he said?
Yes, I have. For example, a song-recording project has been going on. He couldn’t wait patiently until the proper time to announce it, and instead he began to tweet about it. I said, "Johnny, I’d like to market your song, but I can’t do it effectively if you scatter tidbits about it all around. Let’s control the information and release it all at the best time." Sometimes just little stuff like that happens.

Have you ever heard him sing?
Yes, I have. He’s awesome! The producer of his song [Lucian Piane, or RevoLucian] is also brilliant. The song is similar in style to Depeche Mode and Black Gold. What’s really good is that the producer understands that Johnny is a skater. The song is a good dance song, and Johnny plans to create an exhibition program to skate to it.

Do you think he will continue competing?
I have talked with him about this many times, but he doesn’t seem to want to decide now. Having lived the same life for so long—getting up every morning, practicing at the rink for two hours, having a break, practicing for another two hours—he says he can’t imagine leaving that lifestyle. On the other hand, he’s getting a lot of offers from a variety of fields—to write his autobiography, to record his song, to judge at the Miss USA pageant, etc. He once said that he had achieved his dream in figure skating to some degree, and it might be time to move on to another dream. It seems he’s not ready to decide just now.

As his agent, do you wish that he would continue competing?
Johnny has many faithful fans. They’ll want to read his book, to watch TV shows that he's in, to listen to him sing. Still, I’m sure what they really want is to see him skate. So I hope he will continue skating, as either an amateur or a professional.

Johnny shows his fans a lot of consideration, doesn’t he?
Yes, he does. He may look like a showy celebrity-type person, but actually his attitudes are so different. At receptions, as his agent, I have to say to him, “Greeting the fans is limited to 15 minutes,” or “Autographing is limited to 20 people,” but I know Johnny won’t leave until all his fans in the hallway have received an autograph. He is very considerate. When we are in the elevator together, he always holds the door for me and lets me walk out first, and when we get into a car, he always opens the door for me. He is a true gentleman.

Where did he learn such manners?
From his mother, Patti. I think she influenced him 100% in that regard. I sometimes hear people say, “Johnny is always doing such crazy things. What on earth does his mother think about her son?” Patti taught him to be himself, to be proud of himself, and to be polite to others.

Johnny’s father is a very private man. What is he like?
He is big and sweet, like a big teddy bear. His name is also John, so everybody calls him “Big John.” Johnny’s brother is Brian, but they call him “Boz.” When Boz was little, Big John took care of him. Big John can’t sit on a plane for long flights because of his chronic back pain. He and Johnny don’t seem a lot alike, but I know they share a deep father-son bond.

Johnny and Tara in Lake Placid, July 2010.
Photo taken by Leah Adams after Tara made Johnny
take a break from autographing for about two minutes
so he could order something for dinner
(at 10:30 p.m.!).



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Coming soon: More in the series
of translated interviews from the Mook Book
courtesy of the fabulous Akiko Nakata!

copyright 2010 / Binky and the Misfit Mimes / Lynn V. Ingogly / all rights reserved