A Banner Day at All That Skate

See it here first! Fan video of Johnny
in the Men's Group Performance Saturday night in yes!
The famous "Safety" pants from Japan!
About which there is nothing safe!
Very special thanks to Nicole Davis for the video!

And here's Johnny in the same number
(and the same outfit, praise Weirsus)
from Sunday's performance, with special thanks again to Nicole!

Quote of the Day:

"His signature Lady Gaga Pokerface exhibition program

was everything that Johnny has shown to be off ice.

There is a juxtaposition between elegance and dirty

that works somehow in this program, and the only way

to put into [it] words is to say that it is like

that indescribable outfit that you saw on 'Project Runway'

and secretly want to wear to church on Sunday morning."

(Read the full show review here.)

Another video of Johnny's Poker Face performance

that hopefully international fans are NOT blocked from viewing.

Fans Judith Dale and Michael Mazzella

are visible in the front row from about 1:32 to 1:43!

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Our story begins two weeks ago, with the inception of the Signapalooza project. In seeking to blanket the Staples Center with signs of support for Johnny, we encountered these rules that were seated stiffly on the Staples Center website, wearing tight little smiles and glaring at us over their half-glasses:

Signs/Flags/Banners/Posters/Pamphlets

Unless otherwise specified by teams and / or event officials / management, STAPLES Center welcomes guests bringing small signs, flags, banners, and posters inside the building to show fan support during events. The following guidelines relate to these items:

*Item may not be larger than 11" x 17" in dimension

*Item may not be hung, attached, or displayed on any part of the building

Which sort of makes the word "banner" in the first paragraph seem a bit out of place, like that really tall, skinny kid in 7th grade who was contantly ducking his head through doorways and had nowhere to drape his legs after he folded himself into one of those ridiculous little half-desks. An 11" x 17" "banner"? Really? It's like the Black Knight of banners ("It's only a flesh wound").

So I called Staples just to confirm, since what's a skating event without huge banners draped over every available surface and maybe also wrapped gently around Stéphane just because we could then all die from the cuteness?

And they handed me on up the ladder until I eventually landed on (in?) the phone of a lovely woman who said that yes, the 11" x 17" limitation was official policy, but that event producers are allowed to set their own rules and that it was expected that All That Skate management MIGHT lift the ban on banners. And she advised that I keep calling back about every two days until they had a definitive answer for me.

So I did. And she was very polite about it and laughed at my jokes and never once asked me to dear God PLEASE STOP CALLING THIS NUMBER.

In the meantime, word of our potentially banner-less event reached the Chinese Angels, who are amazing in so many ways but are particularly adept at achieving perfection in extremely large orchestrations of group support (think Beijing Olympics opening ceremony), and who also seem merrily undeterred by pesky little things like rules. I love them.

So, in an incredibly kind and generous gesture, they had not one but THREE beautiful vinyl banners made as a gift to Johnny's American fans so that we might never be caught banner-less at a US show again. They based them on this beautiful design:

Update: Here are two of the three banners! Very special thanks to Chinese Angel Yunyun Li for providing these pics (and for everything else!)!

And then they asked to whom these should be shipped.

Thus it was necessary to recruit some top-secret ninjas. In between calls to my new best friend at the Staples Center (I'm going to be in her wedding!).

I was able to locate two volunteers who were willing to do whatever it might take to get a banner into the venue short of getting themselves killed or thrown out of the show (the second fate obviously being far worse). Plans were discussed with a third-party co-conspirator, which I share here for the first time: REDACTED and then REDACTED. So if that REDACTED takes place, then REDACTED and we could REDACTED. But worst case, REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED. OK! That should work.

So shipping arrangements were made, telephone numbers exchanged, travel plans cemented, and eventually two ninjas and three banners all arrived at the same location in LA.

(Side note: The Chinese Angels spent some time frowning at and being dissatisfied with the banners. They had to go with vinyl I think because it was the fastest production option, but they were not happy. So soon they'll also be sending along yet another absolutely gorgeous banner. Made of fine silk-like polyester. Just FYI.)

And then things got a little complicated.

Thursday: Banners arrive in LA, all eye-catching and colorful and hopeful. And big. Really, really big. Small, medium, and the size of God. Aaaaaaaand: My confidant at the Staples Center whispers from a janitor's closet that the final answer on banners has at last come in from the producers, and it's also big. A big, fat, NO.

Commence Operation Banner Ninjas: High-Stakes Smuggling.

Friday: Ninjas arrive. Very late at night. And discover that the banners are indeed at the hotel, which is in a much seedier part of town than might be suggested by the cheery hotel website. Also the largest banner measures about 16 feet x 7 feet, and weighs more than both ninjas combined plus Johnny. They plot.

Saturday:

10:45 a.m. Third party receives "banners-are-on-their-way!" text at exactly the most awkward moment possible, evoking a text-back response of "Shit!" Plan A dissolves.

11 a.m. - 12:45 p.m. Ninjas move nimbly to Plan B. They select the medium-sized banner ("medium" in this case meaning about 50 square feet) and head to the lobby of the JW Marriott, the hotel nearest the Staples Center. Third party REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED. For now. So Ninjas giggle helplessly in the background of a very organized Stéphane Lambiel fan meeting near the bar as they roll the banner up and stuff it into the sleeve of Ninja 2's jacket. Creating, in effect, a giant banner condom. They also spend some time checking out of the Grand Good Lord No I Wouldn't Stay in This Part of Town Hotel and making new reservations at the Marriott. Then they head to the Staples Center for the 1 p.m. VIP Q and A / afternoon dress rehearsal. With high hopes and crossed fingers that no one (meaning Security) will notice the 40-pound banner condom they're lugging.

12:45 p.m. -1:40 p.m. Radio silence. I fret. Please don't let them be barred from entering after they've come all this way and paid all this money for plane tix / hotel / VIP tix etc.

1:40 p.m. Text received: "We're in. Banner is in the bldg. I'm freezing because I can't wear my jacket. Because it's still a banner condom. Told you we were ninjas."

2 p.m. - 4 p.m. Rapid-fire exchange of texts between Ninjas and third party. There's no way to hang the banner without being shot on sight. REDACTED is arranged.

6:45 p.m. Ninjas return for the show and retrieve giant banner condom from hidden location.

7 p.m. - 9 p.m. The Staples Center is "a sea of pink and black signs," according to Ninjas, in honor of Johnny. Ninja 2 holds the banner in its condom on her lap throughout the show, where it slowly cuts off the circulation to the entire lower half of her body. She is oblivious, of course, because JOHNNY! And All That Skate! It's AMAZING! INCREDIBLE! SPECTACULAR! A fantastic turnout, and everyone is completely enthralled with the show. Ninjas patiently await their moment.

About 9 p.m.-ish. At the end of the show's finale, the Ninjas stand (Ninja 2 briefly wobbly until blood flow returns ...). Having recruited everyone in their row to help, they unfurl the forbidden banner to its full 10-ft-wide glory, and wave it in the huge standing ovation along with the hundreds of pink-and-black signs. So much Johnny love! It's wonderful! It's everything we hoped for! Plus one medium-large forbidden banner!

Afterward: The banner returns to the safety of its condom, and the Ninjas depart. Mission accomplished.

And three banners are soon to be on their way to Ohio for their next adventure in the Covelli Center, which I'll be calling today to engage in a delightful parsing of their policy as articulated primly on their website: "Banners and signs may only be brought into building after authorization from Security, or Marketing Director. Banners and signs may not be hung up, and must be removed after conclusion of event," to determine whether or not ninjas are needed for a Youngstown mission.

Any volunteers ... ?

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Another first-look video from Nicole Davis!
Here's Saturday night's finale, with near-total focus on Johnny,
who is doing all kinds of fun things with Stéphane
and choreographer David Wilson!
More of Nicole's vids are available on her YouTube channel here!


 

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Yes! You can own a fine art print of Johnnyperfect for any/every room in the house!

Prints of artist Peter Jurik's "Showtime!"

are available for purchase from his website.

More info here!

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Next Sunday, October 10, Johnny will be performing

in Skate for the Heart in Youngstown, Ohio!
Tickets are available here,
and there's a discussion page for fans here!
YES! WE'RE DOING POSTERS FOR THIS ONE TOO!
This show also will be televised on NBC
on Sunday, January 16, 2011, at 4 p.m. EST!

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Please remember to register to receive
the JW Art Project's email newsletter!
They have great tidbits to offer,
and you get a special sneak peek at an exclusive photo
from the book when you sign up!
The Artbook is expected to be published
by the end of October--can't wait!

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Coming up: A special holiday offer!
And more in the series
of translated interviews from the Mook Book
courtesy of the fabulous Akiko Nakata!

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copyright 2010 / Binky and the Misfit Mimes / Lynn V. Ingogly / all rights reserved