The Best of Binky's Johnny Weir Blog: March 2010

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

I'm Off to See the Weirzard!

A heart is not judged
by how much you love,

but by how much
you are loved
by others.

--The Wizard of Oz
my favorite movie of all time
because
Technicolor
and sparkly ruby slippers
(on Johnny!)
and glittery Glinda the Good Witch
and home
Weir-ever that may be
(this week it's
Bensenville)

Binky and the Misfit Mimes' blog will be on hiatus for the next few days

while Exciting and Glittery Things happen in Binky's life,

beginning with a three-hour drive to Bensenville

accompanied by Lady Gaga blasting from the car speakers

as loudly as possible... :)

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Binky Goes to Bensenville (Part 1)

The always and impossibly elegant Johnny Weir.

"Hmmmm..." I frowned at the array of clothes on the bed. What to wear? What to wear? What does one wear when one goes to Weir, as it were?

Suddenly I wanted to forget packing and go read Dr. Seuss books.

"Mom, what IS your problem?" my daughter demanded, striding briskly into my room. "All your clothes look alike. How hard can this be? Just pick something already!"

She had a point. My fashion choices are informed by three factors:
(1) When in doubt, spend the money on the kids; (2) comfort; and (3) rheumatoid arthritis, an unwelcome and surly guest who arrived five years ago and remains to this day, eating my favorite leftovers, hogging the remote, and leaving wet towels scattered all over the bathroom floor.

So, in fall and winter, I live in denim overalls; in spring and summer, denim shortalls. I have a weird thing where I don't like stuff that's tight against my waist. Actually, I have no waist, so waist-borne clothes just perch hesitantly on me somewhere above my worn hip joints, wondering where they're supposed to BE, exactly, and why it's so hard to meet nice people who are willing to make a commitment to having a waist these days.

I also have a thing where I don't like it when my neck is cold, or when Evan Lysacek unexpectedly appears in my field of vision. There I was last week, trying to tune into part 1 of the serial-killer episode of Castle because really, what better way to spend an hour when Johnny isn't available than with the charming Nathan Fillion, but GAAAAAACK! I accidentally arrived at the tail end of Flailing With the Mongeese to see the Orange-Glo-Rama himself, all decked out in the same damn tux he wears for everything. I quickly averted my eyes in order to preserve my retinas ("No, dear! Never look directly at it!") and waited for the Castle theme to begin.

Now my daughter could have solved my packing problem before I even realized there was a problem. She's quick that way, and by "quick" I mean "impatient with other people's fashion issues but for whom time stands still when we are already fifteen minutes late and she needs to choose between the black pencil skirt and the red pencil skirt"--both of which look fantastic on her tiny size-4 self, by the way.

Me, I'm a taller girl, as Johnny would say. I've always liked my height, and I do stand straight and tall, but there's a secret fear in the back of my mind that the word "burly" could someday be used in the same sentence as "Binky." My kids always crack up when I say this and assure me that that will never be true. But I'm not sure they even really know what I look like as a person--who picked up a pound or two along the way--and not as their beloved parent. Which actually is OK, because I still remember their little voices telling me I'm "the prettiest mom and the best mom in the whole world, the mom of wonders."

Anyway, so my fashion sense is somewhat limited, in the sense that I have no actual fashion sense, so I have this dilemma: I am really, really hoping to meet Johnny at the VIP party after Ice Dreams (and by "meet" I mean "stand awkwardly somewhere near him looking hopeful"). But I don't want to appear as if I just wandered in after having taken a seriously wrong turn somewhere on my way from a western Illinois cornfield. I'm afraid that Johnny, all slim elegance and Balenciaga and Galliano and lots of other fashion-y names I can't pronounce, could actually be allergic to something so plebeian as overalls, and then it would be my fault that his sinuses started draining and he developed that odd rash that prohibited him from getting to ride a yak in Mongolia after all. I don't want to be responsible for some sort of international incident just because I dress like Bill the Yeti.

So my daughter reinserted her iPod earbuds and left, and I sat on the bed and pondered the light blue overalls and the dark blue overalls and whether there's enough money in the plastic Coke bank to maybe buy an actual pair of, say, khaki pants.

On the other hand.

If Johnny stands for anything, it's this: Be yourself. And own that self. All the way. Be who you are, in whatever packaging works for you. It's one of the qualities--on a long list of really admirable character traits--that I most appreciate about him. Funny how a kid of 25 could make this middle-aged mom (middle-aged because I'm planning to live to age 96 so really, I'm only halfway done and don't rush me, please) suddenly rediscover the confidence she never had at 25.

And if anyone in the world were to host a party and say, "Come as you are!" and REALLY mean that, it would be Jesus. Or Johnny Weir.

So: Problem solved.

Look for me in Bensenville. I'll be the tall woman in the dark blue overalls she loves (the smallest ones I own, because I've lost all those pesky extra pounds recently by following a Johnny-inspired meal plan of not really planning to eat any meals) wearing a sparkly "We Love Johnny Weir!" button.

And a really big, confident smile.

Special thanks to Lizzy Pine, Johnny Weir Facebook fan,
for the mongoose repellent!

Sunday, March 28, 2010

When Robin Loved Johnny

Johnny Weir addresses the press in Vancouver

on February 24, 2010.

Today's post is part of a series of guest blogs
about Johnny's impact on people's lives,
and comes to us from
Johnny Facebook fan Robin Fosdick. :)

So, Binky has asked us to tell her why we love Johnny ... and the first thing that comes to mind is not why, but when.

When did I first start loving Johnny?

Was it the first time I saw him skate?

Nope.

Was it when I saw the promo for Be Good Johnny Weir, complete with high heels, giant Fabergé egg, and major attitude?

Nope.

Was it actually watching his show, full of silliness, sauciness, hard work, and beautiful skating?

Nope.

It was the press conference. When Johnny sat there, looking perfectly elegant and Old Hollywood, and spoke graciously about the two men who’d said such insulting things about him.

Johnny, you’re an inspiration to all of us

who’ve ever felt afraid to be ourselves,

or who are trying to gather the courage to be ourselves,

real and true and unafraid.

I know how hard it is to be taunted or humiliated for being yourself, and I was shocked at how he responded. Shocked, awed, and delighted.

Johnny, you’re an inspiration to all of us who’ve ever felt afraid to be ourselves, or who are trying to gather the courage to be ourselves, real and true and unafraid.

Please know that every time you stand up to prejudice and discrimination--because that’s exactly what it is, whether they’ll admit it or not--you are standing up not just for yourself, but for all of us.

You are an inspiration and a joy to watch. I think you are completely freaking fabulous and I hope that my future children turn out as well as you have.

So, just to make things clear, it’s official. I’ve fallen into the abyss of Johnny Weir fangirldom, and no, thanks, I don’t need a hand up.

It’s rather nice down here, with all the tassels and sequins and such.

Psssst: Wanna be part of the
BIG fan thank-you to Johnny on April 1?
Please click here! With thanks to Robin!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

From Makeup to Scented Candles to Freeing Your Inner Freak, May We Present:

So Johnny Weir's 35,644 Facebook fans were milling around on his page the other day, as we are prone to do, posting pictures of Johnny and commenting on people's links to videos of Johnny and analyzing Johnny's latest tweets and bumming glitter-coated cigarettes off each other and just generally making nuisances of ourselves on the information cyberhighway, where we have been known to cause traffic to come to a screeching halt by posting stuff like this, when alert fan Krystal Pacheco popped by to pose this thoughtful question:

How has Johnny inspired you?

And we couldn't wait to tell her. Because Johnny has that effect on people. He inspires us all to the point that we can't shut up about it, so after completely alienating all our real-life friends and family members by quoting every inspirational line of dialogue from all eight inspirational episodes of BGJW, in chronological order--repeatedly--(which doesn't at all bring to mind the phrase, "idiot savants"), we turn to each other on Facebook and breathe, "Johnny just so inspires me! Did you catch what he said to Evan Lysacek at the press conference in Epsiode 108? And wasn't Evan just such a total douche (again)?"

So the responses came pouring in. There were so many to choose from, and the blog space is so limited, what with the towering stacks of Johnny photos and the snarling chained mongoose in the corner, that I am only able to present a baker's dozen, picked at random, a lovely little bouquet of wildflowers for our favorite wild child (you can find the full meadow of blooms here).

These are all pure sparkly poetry and need no embellishment from me.

Pat Goewey: He reminds me to believe in myself, never give up and keep it real.

Allison Fowler: I'd always been afraid to be myself, and Johnny inspires me to not be afraid and just "fly my freak flag high" :) cuz Lord knows my flag is a freak flag. ♥

Glennisha Elliott: It's OKAY to be different ... and to tell people who want you to conform to F off!

Russ Gunther: Be true to yourself, and the people who REALLY matter in your life will always love you for you.

Krystal Pacheco: ... Johnny has lit the fire inside me! And my fire smells like Diptyque candles! Johnny's favorite! ...

Allison Shea: ... Johnny is not perfect, but he's real and down to earth, and a genius. And he's so full of life! And you look at him and think, what the hell am I doing? I didn't ask for life, but I'm here! So I'm gonna live it too! That's what he's done for me.

Amy J. Sorter: He has inspired me to remember who I really am. He also inspires me to be "me" with dignity and grace. ... And yeah, I just went to the MAC counter at Nordy's and dropped a couple hundred on new makeup! Thanks Johnny for renewing my interest in SHOPPING! (Read Amy's excellent blog entry on Johnny as a depression cure here.)

Deborah Slockett: He is a true inspiration to me and my mom because he doesn't sugercoat anything and he has made me feel free to be myself.

Lindsay O'Day: ... I think the way he takes care of himself is amazing and I want to be that way. Oh, and I'm releasing my inner freak.

Jaspar N. Votapek: As a musician ... when I watch BGJW and follow his journey, he makes me feel less alone--and puts my heart back into the artistry of my playing ...

Beatriz Zenk: He makes me laugh which is a nice thing because we don't laugh as much as we should. He likes to laugh and it is infectious. Actually, I'm infected and that is good.

Nicole Davis: "Out of the ugly, I think the most important thing in life is to make something beautiful." Johnny does just that, is undeniably beautiful, and takes great pride in cultivating inner and outer beauty. Plus, he's kind, eloquent, intelligent, humorous, and warm in a way that feels way too rare to me ... He reminds me that those qualities are precious and undervalued. Lastly, it's all about those eyelashes. [blink, blink]

Reia Temari Kan: He has taught me, and I'm sure many others ... that going through life as anyone but yourself is truly a waste. So I thank you, Johnny, for being such an amazing person, and an inspiration to so many of us. Thanks for being you. ♥

Again, the full thread of responses is here, and well worth the read. They're all wonderful and thought-provoking and a real tribute to Johnny.

As for me, Johnny simply inspires me to:

do more

be more

love more

LIVE more.

And also, to vacuum more. In case he should ever drop by. I want those vacuum lines in place to make him feel really at home. :)

If you would like to say more, but with actual flowers,

please go here and be a part of the upcoming

BIG fan thank-you to Johnny!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

The Redemption of Jay Leno (Plus: Charles Barkley All Sparkly!*)

Jay Leno interviews Johnny Weir on the Tonight Show
Monday, March 22, 2010.

Let's just be clear: I'm Team Conan all the way. I thought Jay Leno should have gotten into one of his 12 million cars last June and driven quietly away into some other phase of his life that didn't involve trying to hang on to something that had already been given away to someone else, like your older brother resenting you getting his hand-me-downs.

But no. He hung around NBC at 10 p.m. (9 p.m. Central) like embarrassing, garrulous, strange-smelling Uncle Bobby, who tells the same bad jokes over and over and just can't take the hint, even when your mom has put away the dishes, the kids have all gone upstairs, and your father finally says heartily, "Goodness! Look at the time! We've got to go to bed so Bobby can leave!"

But like Bobby, Jay just WOULDN'T GO AWAY. Which was apparently the sum total of his employment strategy. Until finally everyone did go to bed and then got up the next morning to find that Bobby had smoked the last of the cigarettes hidden in the buffet and had taken your dad's car to go to the liquor store. Again.

Which is how we found ourselves with no cigarettes, and no Conan, and Jay back on the Tonight Show set, which still feels weird. And I have refused to watch the show since his return.

Until, of course, last night. Because Johnny Weir was on. And that sentence has caused me to watch all kinds of shows that I have previously stepped over like old gum on the sidewalk.

Of course I TiVo'd the show so I could just fast-forward to the glam and glitter. And then I watched the interview.

And wow. Jay, you totally redeemed yourself. In a really big way.

Jay started off by showing a clip of Johnny at the Olympics and saying, "I really like this kid," and then it just got better from there.

He had the band play the Olympic theme when Johnny walked out.

He made a point of saying that Johnny was a two-time Olympian and three-time U.S. National Champion.

He also emphasized that Johnny grew up in Amish country, that he put his brother through college, and that he helps his family out financially.

He never once uttered the words, "gender orientation," "sexual preference," or "Evan Lysacek."

And then he said: "Let me ask you about this whole Stars on Ice tour. There's a little bit of a controversy here."

Johnny explained the story pretty much as we know it, that the comment came up several years ago, and that in all his years of skating, he has not once been invited to skate with SOI.

Jay responded by reiterating Johnny's solid upbringing and his care for his family, and said of Johnny, "You can't get more family-friendly than that!"

And he said, "It seems that you would be PERFECT for that kind of a show."

And, "It's SHOW business. And it seems very unfair."

And then he asked, "If they invited you now, would you go on this tour?"

Jay ended the interview with, "Johnny, good luck, my friend." (And the very wise advice to not do anything flamboyant while speaking Arabic.)

Now, if you know anything about Jay Leno, you know that, even with the whole Conan debacle, he is still a very, very powerful man in Hollywood (still on the Forbes' Top 100 Most Powerful Celebrities list. And still very good friends with Oprah Winfrey, who is ranked no. 2 on that list).

And if you know how he interviews, you know that between the lines, he just issued a challenge to Smuckers Stars on Ice: "You got one last chance here, people. Give the kid an invitation. Because I like this kid. He's a friend of mine."

I don't know if it will make a difference. But I do know that Jay Leno stuck his neck out last night and put the full force of the tremendous influence that he wields behind Johnny Weir.

Johnny's out in front right now, and Jay Leno just stepped up to stand beside him.

Jay, I just might have to watch your show more often.

'Night, Uncle Bobby.

Favorite Weir-isms from the Tonight Show interview:

"And then all of a sudden, BAM! This popped out!"

"Well, I'm hideous. I've got a comb-over, that's for sure."

Don't miss this clip from the beginning

of last night's Tonight Show

featuring an "awkward fashion moment"

between Johnny and a surprisingly sparkly Charles Barkley!

Monday, March 22, 2010

Petition Presented to Smuckers! And They Respond Immediately!

From Johnny Weir's Facebook page,
upon achieving 10,000 signatures on the petition:

Maria Bernier: Cheers to Johnny!!

Here's to happiness, honesty, health care,

and truth in the face of injustice!!
Take that, Smuckers!!
(more fan reaction here)

At last, the moment we've all been waiting for!

Yes, we hit 10,000 signatures on the petition last night! And then some!

Yay!

Everyone: Stop! Right now! And give yourselves a big round of applause and a hearty slap on the back. Preferably not at the same time, unless you have a Pilates machine handy to help you.

And guess what: The petition was sent to the designated contact person at Smucker's!

And GUESS WHAT: Yes, we received a response immediately!

Wow!

And what we received was (*insert drum roll here*):

An automated "out-of-office" e-mail reply.

(*insert eye roll here*)

And that's it.

Which, of course, is just exactly what we'd expect from the fine folks at Smucker's, who knew this petition was headed their way at some point soon and who thus decided, with all the crisis-management tools available to them, to go with "avoidance behavior."

And also whose products, which will never, ever enter my home again, all taste like there is paper close to them.

Smucker's: Made with care, and a generous dollop of hypocrisy, in every jar.

But we have much to be proud of--first of all, of course, Johnny, who is ever the epitome of class in every interview, whether addressing the whole agonizing charade that is SOI or any other topic. Nothing but grace and dignity and wicked humor in that boy. Also possibly some kind of mammoth thing, but we can't be sure.

And we also can be proud of all of us, those thousands (yes, literally thousands) of completely crazed fans who worked together tirelessly for two weeks, day into night into day, to achieve maximum petition pimpage overdrive and spent hours (yes, literally hours) hitting "Refresh" on their keyboards to watch that signature number climb and climb and climb until that total Gaga moment when we all saw 10,000 and immediately threw glitter everywhere and began drinking each other under the cyber-table.

Our efforts resulted in heavy media coverage that (1) blew the top off this seamy little snub and exposed it for what it is--Smucker's indignant little gasps of denial notwithstanding, (2) began a boycott of Smucker's, and (3) may have piqued the interest of other big corporations who are smart enough to perceive a ginormously popular [gold mine of a] phenomenon when they see one.

So while an invitation from Smucker's Stars on Ice may or may not be forthcoming when the designated contact person returns from the vending machine or the North Pole or wherever (sigh), there is serious hope that interested parties will band together to bankroll a second figure-skating tour--a glittery, Gaga competitor to Stars on Ice that puts ol' SOI out of its--and our--misery faster than you can say, "Family friendly."

We'll see.

But in the meantime: Job well done, people! (and by "people" I mean "pimps"--in the nicest way possible).

Also, the petition will remain online, so feel free to get more people to sign it! Just to SHOVE THAT MAMMOTH POINT HOME.

And finally: Here's OUR response--and by "our" I mean every single Johnny-obsessed fan out there, all chanting together in a sing-song chorus so thunderous that it makes all the Smucker's jars everywhere fall off the shelves and shatter and then all the shards of glass miraculously fly to Smucker's headquarters in Ohio where we already have the execs or whoever's responsible for this whole clustersmuck tied to their cushy executive pleather chairs and--

Oh. I'm sorry. Excuse me. I'm perspiring a bit and my sweater is all askew. And my children are staring at me with really big eyes.

Anyway. As I was saying, I believe we have the perfect response to their response, penned by one of our very own "OMG I LOVE YOU Johnny!" Facebook fans.

Now please say it with me:

Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

Smuckers can suck it,

'Cause, Johnny, we all love you!

--Robin Fosdick
Johnny Weir Facebook fan

If you would like to say it again, but with actual flowers,

please go here and be a part of the upcoming

BIG fan thank-you to Johnny,
also created by Robin!

Friday, March 19, 2010

Yes, It's Here: The All-New Johnny Weir Action Figure!

From Johnny Weir's Facebook page:

Cheryl Davidson LOL! For better or worse I am in full-on fangirl crush mode right now! And there's nothing I can do about it! I've got Johnny Weir fever AND I AM BURNING UP!

Cheryl Bateman I'm still sitting in my pajamas, reveling in all things Johnny. I still want an action figure.

Well, Cheryls, the wait is over! Here it is, what we all--pathetic, pajama-clad Internet stalkers that we are--have been waiting for: The cure for Johnny Fever! The Johnny crack that we hardcore addicts so desperately crave! Something to hold and touch after the footgasmic Be Good Johnny Weir Episode 107!

It's the Johnny Weir action figure!

Your scale-model Johnny is:

Authentically detailed! Yes, right down to his ... um ... yay! Episode 107!

Fully posable! (And by "fully" we mean "close your bedroom door, grab the included miniature Pilates machine, and let your imagination run wild...")

Completely dressed in his short program costume from the 2010 Olympics! Or not. (See above.)

Ready to talk to you! Pull the pink tassel on Johnny's left shoulder to hear these fan-favorite Weir-isms and sound effects:

When I'm good, I'm good. But when I'm bad, I'm better.

I walk on water. Well, frozen water.

What an artist. At times it is like BALLET on ice.

Don't you know that? Are you stupid?

This is Viacheslav Romanov!

To have this mammoth thing shoved in me...

And I've mounted it.

Ohhhhhhh daddy...

*snuffle*snuffle*snuffle*

The best thing you can ever be in this life is yourself.

Your Johnny action figure comes with these exciting accessories:

New! Bad Romance costume for exhibition skates!
Fur hat
Galliano underwear
Shiny, pointy shoes
Can of Pledge
Hello Kitty pillow
Pet mongoose
Every medal he's ever won, and every medal he should have won if it weren't for useless, blind, bean-counting judges....

Also available: The optional accessory pak! Includes stilettos, black leggings, glittery headband, a single red glove, and an assortment of tiny skin-care products.

Quantities are unlimited--just like Johnny's artistry, outspokenness, grace, and sheer sex appeal.

Order yours today!

1-800-OMG-WE-LOVE-THIS-MAN!

Now THAT should totally motivate you
to sign the petition...!
We are almost at 9,800 signatures!

Our goal is to reach 10,000 ASAP!

Please sign now if you haven't already!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Ice Dreams Update: Elkin Explains Tickets, Pricing, and the Middle East Peace Process!*

*Not really. That's too complicated even for the kind and patient people at Fireworks Sports Marketing.

Petition update:

We are at 9,600+ signatures!

Our goal is to reach 10,000 ASAP!

Please sign right now if you haven't already!

Alert readers messaged me yesterday to politely ask, "WTF is up with the tickets for Ice Dreams? I thought you said that it was $100 to upgrade to VIP tickets to get into the VIP meet-and-greet party after the show! But when you click on 'buy tickets,' it says it's either $25 for general admission, or $200 for VIP tickets! Can you clear this up? Or pay the difference? Or loan me the money and babysit my kids so I can go?"

So clearly another call to Fireworks was in order.

Today I spoke to Elkin, an intern in Tara's office who is every bit as kind and courteous as Richie (where does she find these people? In New York? Not that there aren't lots of lovely people in New York, but I've always understood it to have a bit harsher vibe than, say Chicago, in which I've spent a great deal of time and where total strangers will adjust your scarf for you if they think you don't have it quite right to prevent your nose from falling off while you walk to work in the brisk minus-70-degree breeze--and by "breeze" I mean "sustained gale-force wind"-- coming off Lake Michigan).

Elkin kindly clarified the Ice Dreams ticket pricing structure for me and everyone else who has considered dumping what little they have left in their 401(k) (and by "401(k)" I mean "couch cushions") in order to spend just one brief, glittery moment in the presence of Johnny Weir, surreptitiously inhaling his cologne while trying to say, "It's lovely to meet you. I would give you my first-born child," but succeeding only in making little strangled noises in the backs of their throats.

So here are the details:

$25 = general admission ticket to sit with the rabble (that would be me and my two kids).

$100 = pass to the two-hour VIP party that will be held at the arena after the show.

$200 = On-ice VIP seating PLUS pass to the after-show VIP party.

Elkin explained that if you pay the additional $100 after buying a $25 ticket, you'll receive a wrist band that admits you to the VIP party. There will be a table set up at the arena so that when you arrive for the show, you can check in there, they'll find your name on the list, and give you your wrist band to get in to the party later.

He also cheerfully noted that though there will be a cash bar at the VIP party, all ages are welcome to attend, and they will try really hard not to serve alcohol to my 12-year-old.

So: By clicking through the Ice Dreams site, you can buy EITHER the $25 tickets or the $200 tickets. If you just want the $100 VIP wrist band to go with your $25 ticket, you have to call Fireworks directly at 646-274-0955, and they'll be happy to sell you one.

If you've already bought $25 tickets and want to throw caution and your marriage to the wind and upgrade to the full $200 package, you also need to call.

Elkin did say that the VIP wrist bands are going fast and smilingly agreed with me that Bensen-The-Quiet-Neighbor-Who-Always-Kept-to-Himself-ville, with a population that is less than half the number of Johnny's Twitter followers alone, probably has no idea what's going to hit it on April 1.

Sooooooo: If, like me, you've already bought $25 tickets, you can now spend a great deal of time agonizing over these choices and having conversations with your children that go like this:

Son (cautious, painfully shy, and only recently able to speak up enough to be heard when placing an order at a restaurant): "C'mon, Mom! It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! Let's ditch the general admission tickets and upgrade to the full $600!"

Daughter (outgoing, able to converse with anyone, headed to New York to live her real life as soon as I will drive her there and drop her off): "Wow. Six hundred dollars to go pester a perfect--and yeah, OK, he is totally perfect--stranger. I can do that for free. In New York."

I stared at them for awhile, wondering how they had pulled off this weird body switch, where He-Who-Does-Not-Speak would spend anything to meet someone he doesn't know, while She-Who-Spoke-from-Birth-and-Wants-to-Meet-Everyone-on-the-East-Coast would not. Then we compromised.

We are sticking with our $25 seats.

But I called Elkin back and bought three $100 passes to the VIP party with sparkly little stars in my eyes.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

We Have Now Called in the Marines...

...fighting for the rights of Americans everywhere

to fly that [freak] flag high.

From Johnny Weir's Facebook page:

Will Hayes Holman So I broke down and iTuned your show. You crack me up, dude. And get this: I had six other Marines huddled around the computer all watching as well. One even made a shirt afterward that said, "2010, Year of the Weir!" What can I say? You rock, bro.

So do you, Will. So do you.

Petition update:

We are at 9,350 signatures!

Our goal is to reach 10,000 ASAP!

Please sign right now if you haven't already!
Don't make me send Will and his buddies
over to your house...

Update: Hey, His Name Is Richie!

Two alert readers were kind enough to notify me that Tara Modlin's assistant is named Richie, and yes, he is indeed very nice. Thank you both! And he most certainly is.

I can't believe I had two Ice Dreams conversations with Richie in one week without the manners to ask him his NAME, for ~~Pete's~~ Johnny's sake!

So since I can't be a good example, please let me serve as a terrible warning: This is what happens when you phone and speak and
blog without first applying a thick yet natural-feeling sheath of
caffeine--a protective covering, as it were--to your brain.

Please: Practice safe blogging. Always, always get your caffeine
on first.

After all, we must think of the children! (Mine are usually the first to say: "Mom, have you had any caffeine? Because wow. Pants are so important," as we are headed out to the car and I am clearly under-dressed for the occasion...)

Johnny Weir and David Wilson

get their Starbucks on at Festa on Ice in Korea in 2009.

(Photo originally appeared on IceNetwork

courtesy of Johnny Weir.)

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Ice Dreams: Bad Romance in Bensen-Where-the-Hell-Is-THAT-ville, Illinois!

(talk about your ice dreams... :)

Petition update:

We are at 9,100+ signatures in just one week!

Our goal is to reach 10,000 ASAP!

Please sign right now if you haven't already!

From Johnny Weir's Twitter feed (yes! You can follow him on Twitter! You can even get his tweets sent as texts to your cell, so when you hear that special "incoming-text" ring tone, you can pretend for one sparkly second that Johnny's really texting you personally!):

I'm so excited to be performing for @cutiescitrus Ice Dreams on April 1 in IL. Come see my Bad Romance! www.icedreams2010.com! 6:41 p.m. March 12

Excited to work my version of "Bad Romance" tomorrow. Think gold lamé, chains and buckles... Love to all! 10:28 p.m. March 14

Off to the rink. It's never to early to get your Gaga on. About 8 hours ago

Yay! Johnny will be on the ice again April 1--just a few short weeks away!--with (*fingers crossed*) a hot new costume and routine set to Lady Gaga's Bad Romance.

He'll be the star performer at Cutie's Ice Dreams, hosted by the truly lovely 1976 Olympic gold medalist Dorothy Hamill, at the Edge Ice Arena, 735 East Jefferson, Bensenville, Illinois (map here, because I keep getting Bensenville mixed up with Belleville, and then from there I start thinking, "Oh wait--maybe it's Belvidere?" and then, "No, Ben-something--Benton? Benson? No, no, I know it's something-ville ... Wait, Naperville?" And then a giant mongoose appears and bites my head off.)

Anyway, since Sort-of-Southwest-of-O'Hare-ville is a scant
three-hour drive for me, I wanted to buy tickets--general admission, $25-- for myself and my two kids. But I have never actually been to a figure-skating event. Which now leaves me wondering what the hell I've been DOING with my life up to this point.

So I called both the arena itself and Johnny's agentress Tara Modlin's office last Tuesday, March 9, to confirm that Johnny would indeed be performing at Ice Dreams April 1, and to find out about the general admission thing. I believe I spoke to Tara's assistant, a very nice young man who I think had no idea what was about to hit him oh, say, one week and 9,000 signatures later...

At that time, I asked if the event was sold out because hello? JOHNNY WEIR?

And the very nice young man LAUGHED and said no, they still had tickets.

Then, in my next call, when I asked the Edge's receptionist how early we should come to the arena to be guaranteed a seat (remembering general-admission-rock-concert-stampedes of my youth), there was an awkward pause.

And then she soothed, "Oh, I don't think we have to worry about that. Maybe about an hour early, tops?"

And then I realized:

(1) Not a lot of sold-out figure-skating shows in recent years, apparently. Thank you, Smucker's Satyrs on Ice, for screwing that up for everybody. And:

(2) Ice arenas may somewhat cater to--how shall we say this?--an income bracket QUITE a bit higher than my own. As we spoke, I was idly looking at the arena's web site, and I saw that two hours of daily practice time for your child costs $275 per week. (Though the Edge does offer drop-in public skate time at a very reasonable rate of about $8, for which I commend them.)

So suddenly it dawned on me that ice arenas--or at least the one in Almost-Addison-Where-There's-a-Really-Great-Italian-Bakery-ville may be used to a rather more sedate, moneyed audience that strolls in, takes their seats quietly, and enjoys the show with polite enthusiasm.

Which in no way describes how I or any of the 33,440 Facebook fans I have met thus far will be acting when we see Johnny.

God help those nice Edge people on April 1.

Breaking news update! I had another enjoyable conversation with Tara's assistant (and I really MUST get his name, because he has been so kind to me and very patient with all my questions and has never once used the words "stalker" or "restraining order" in our conversations) at Fireworks yesterday. He says that $125 VIP tickets will be available shortly that will get you into a two-hour fan meet-and-greet (also known as Heaven. Or Nirvana. Or Paradise, although I'm guessing without the 72 virgins) with Johnny after the show!

If, like me, you've already purchased a $25 ticket, you can pay the extra $100 to upgrade to the VIP ticket. They will be posting this info on Johnny's Facebook page and on the Cuties Ice Dreams Facebook page soon--it's already on the updated Ice Dreams page--but the very kind man said it was OK for me to go ahead and share these details now if I would please stop calling this number.

(Even if you can't make it to Ice Dreams, you can participate in a special thank-you from the fans to Johnny. More details here!)