Oh Yeah. I'd Watch Him Dance. Or Do Anything. Or Nothing. It Doesn't Really Matter As Long As It's Johnny ...

Oh, I'm sorry.

Did I say I thought Dancing With the Stars was a giant cheese-fest best described as the "Portal to Oblivion"?

Goodness. That sentiment is so last season.

As usual, events move quickly in the Whiplash World of Johnny Weir, and I am racing to keep up, gasping for breath and looking a bit flushed, as if something far more interesting and athletic than blogging was going on here ...

The dust has not quite settled on our Ride for Life fan project--
and hopefully Atomic Kitten is enjoying a very long nap on an extremely comfortable bed while we continue to pimp and donate through July 31--and already we have NEW news and NEW fan projects with which to occupy ourselves in between refreshing Johnny's Facebook page every 30 seconds or so waiting for Tatiana or Linda to post yet more never-before-seen-and-totes-swoon-worthy pics or videos.

So the news is: Grand Prix assignments were announced early
this morning. Johnny has been assigned to Grand Prix of Figure
Skating-Skate Canada Oct. 29-31 in Ontario, Canada, and to Grand Prix of Figure Skating-Trophée Eric Bompard Cachemire Nov. 26-28 in Paris, France. You can link to the .pdf file from here (click on "Entries Men - All 6 Events"). I have no idea what any of this means. But it kind of tastes like it has paper close to it.

I'm much better at comprehending fan projects, and our latest one began when Perez Hilton posted this cheery tidbit yesterday on his site:

We want Johnny Weir on Dancing With The Stars — and it just might happen!

Johnny reveals:

"I hope [I'm going to do Dancing With the Stars]. I met Karina Smirnoff a few weeks ago and she was like, 'Johnny, you are the perfect height for me. Let's dance.' So … it's on. I've chosen my partner, I'm ready."

So is Karina up for it? Sounds like it! She adds:

"I'm a big fan of Johnny. His heart, his guts, he's got balls in every routine and I love that. I think for Dancing With the Stars, you gotta have not only determination, but you gotta have that drama, that deeper side of you, and Johnny has it! I’m rooting for him to be on the next season of Dancing With the Stars."

Us, too! And we think Karina would make a great partner for Johnny.

What do U think?

And that last is not just a rhetorical question on Perez's part.

In trolling the dark, secret, underground tunnelways of the Interwebz, where I often find myself at odd hours of the night, sucking down Coke Zero from a flask whilst glimpsing the occasional glow of a cigarette out of the corner of my eye or detecting faint, deliberate heel clicks somewhere off to my left, I overheard whispers from shrouded but trusted sources that DWTS is something Johnny would really love to do ...

... and that we fans might be able to help make it happen by flooding Perez's site ASAP with thousands of positive comments!

So let's get on it, people! DWTS producers just may be paying attention to the response that Perez gets from floating this idea out there.

But wait, you say. Didn't we just agree a couple of months ago that Johnny is way too cool and not nearly orange enough for DWTS? And that most of the comments at perezhilton.com are so incredibly hateful that it's really best to avoid that whole comment thing altogether over there ... ?

Yes. Yes, we did. But that was then. This is now. Please try to keep up.

Today we not only think this is a wonderful (read: well-paid and high-exposure) opportunity for Johnny, we think DWTS is such an exciting show and we can't believe we've never watched it before! Although there's a simple reason for that: Johnny wasn't on it. But now he might be. So I'm getting ready to program my TiVo as we speak.

And not only will I watch the show if he's on it, I think his mere presence will elevate it into something really quite fascinating, unpredictable, enjoyable, and far more classy than it's ever been before. I am so there, just waiting to see what he'll wear (OMG! sparkles? feathers? mhalos? finger condoms? maybe full-length evening gloves? plus balls in every routine? the possibilities simply boggle the mind ...), how fabulously he'll dance, and how much he'll make me smile. And how exciting it will be to see a whole new audience fall in love with him.

After all, he is pretty damn addictive--or so we hear.

And here's the bottom line, just speaking for myself as a proud uber-stan: If Johnny wants it, then I want it for him. And I want it to be the most marvelous fun he's had, ever. Because I think that's kind of what he's thinking about it: That it could be just, you know, FUN. And fun that he gets paid to have. Wow. Yes, I really, really want this for him.

So let's all meet over at Perez's and post a million comments while we try to avoid reading the really awful ones there (just avert your eyes and keep typing!) about how much we would totally watch DWTS (which certain parties with a vested interest will read as: how high the ratings will be and how many advertising dollars the show will bring in) if our beloved Johnny is on it! It's just one more way we can support him and his dreams--and hey! It's free! So post a comment! Or twelve!

And BTW, we've also started a group on Facebook that you can join to help promote this idea. Facebook peeps are the ones who got SNL to offer a hosting gig to Betty White, so let's use the power of Facebook (when it's not being completely lame and randomly locking people's accounts just because today happens to be a day with the word "day" in it), to get Johnny on DWTS!

Because orange is so five minutes ago ...

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PLEASE KEEP VOTING HERE for Johnny to win

the 2010 Readers' Choice Skater of the Year Award
(voting ends July 15)!

And please keep pimping out
our official ALC donation page

and our Ride for Life PayPal donation page

to everyone everywhere through July 31!

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copyright 2010 / Binky and the Misfit Mimes / Lynn V. Ingogly / all rights reserved